Ted hums and purses his lips, nodding. "I haven't really..." he starts, pausing. "I mean, I don't know if I've properly absorbed how close I came to.." The sentence finishes itself even as Ted trails off.

He's thought a lot about how close Joan came to dying. But for himself, he was pretty delirious as it was happening, and then afterwards, he.. Well, he slipped right into trying to protect and reassure others, as he does. That was a lot easier, and familiar. Even in recounting all of it, he was much more focused on his interactions with Turner than what the outcome would've been.