For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[theodorelasso]

"Oh, and least 3 weeks," Ted answers, frowning down as he wiggles the khakis over the cast. "But probably longer, cause my ribs have been healing to."

And then there's the hypothermia. He was basically told that his body was healing from so many different things, it was probably gonna take a bit longer for the cast to come off than it usually would with this fracture.

He finally manages to get it over, and stands up to pull the pants on properly finally.

[formersurgeon]

She nods. That sounds about right.

"I'm sorry," she says softly. She knows this is hard for him, being out of commission and away from his team. "Do you have to be out of the cast to go back to coaching? I mean, you don't absolutely have to be able to run with the players, do you?"

[theodorelasso]

"I mean, it's more fun that way," he answers with a smile. "But no. I was thinking of starting up again on Monday, assuming you're alright without me by then."

It is looking very promising, otherwise he wouldn't have put a specific date on it, in case she insisted him going back despite her needing him.

He'll have to do a whole lot more sitting, he supposes, but as long as he can be present and he can use his voice, it shouldn't be a problem. He is nervous about going back though.

[formersurgeon]

"That's great!" she says with an enthusiastic smile. "I'm so glad you're going back to work. I'll be fine." Even if her strength isn't completely back to normal by then, Sherlock can stay with her. It's important that Ted get back to his team.

"Do you think I could be at the game that Saturday?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles, relaxing a little at her enthusiasm, which reassures him.

"Yeah, of course," he answers immediately. "I'm sure Rebecca and Keeley will love to have you up there with them."

[formersurgeon]

"I'd like to be there for your first game back," she says with a smile. She wants to be as supportive as possible, because she knows this is really important to him, and that it can be tough going back after something very traumatic and very public.

[theodorelasso]

He nods, smiling warmly. "I appreciate that," he answers softly.

He pauses buttoning up his shirt, and goes to sit next to her for a moment, just to give her a grateful kiss. He loves her so much and is so happy he has her to support him.

[formersurgeon]

She happily kisses him back, then leans against him, resting her head against his, just enjoying this moment together with the man she loves.

"I love you," she says softly, smiling.

[theodorelasso]

"You too," he answers. It's probably the billionth time they've said it today, but it just doesn't get old.

He just takes a moment to sit there, until his phone pings and he checks it, seeing a text from Beard. "Ah, Beard's on his way."

[formersurgeon]

Joan likes the fact that they both like saying and hearing it so much. Maybe they say it so often because they're spending all their time together, or maybe because they're working through a difficult time and it gives them reassurance and strength to be reminded of how deeply they love each other, a constant touchstone even when things get dark. Maybe when things are easier and they are interacting with the world more the frequency of those words will abate, but Joan is in no hurry to deprive them of those expressions of love.

Hearing that Beard is on his way breaks the quiet moment, and Joan sits up. "Great! Let's get me into the living room so I'm ready when he gets here."

[theodorelasso]

Probably also because they very recently admitted it for the first time, just two weeks ago, so they're still in that state when it's kind of new. But even without all those things, he doesn't think he'll ever want to stop saying it occasionally.

"Yup," he answers, finishing buttoning up his shirt as he gets to his feet, then holds his hands out to Joan to help her into the chair so they can head to the couch.

[formersurgeon]

There are couples who seldom say those words. Joan and Ted are clearly not one of those couples. While the frequency may drop, Joan can't imagine them not saying "I love you" to each other on a fairly regular basis.

Joan grips Ted's hands and lets him help her up and into the chair. She could probably walk into the living room just fine, but for the moment she'll conserve her strength and reassure Ted that she's safe, so he's not too anxious about leaving her side.

[theodorelasso]

He appreciates not having to worry too much. He's sure if it was just her, she would be pushing herself a lot more. Maybe not quite being reckless, but definitely harder on herself. He's glad that a side benefit of him worrying about her makes her a little kinder to herself and more patient with her body.

Ted grabs a sweater and puts it over his shoulder, then his crutches which he hangs off his arm, then heads towards the living room. "You want some food or drink before we head out?"

[formersurgeon]

He's absolutely right about that. She is being far gentler with herself than she would if it was just her. And maybe that's a good thing.

"We should offer Beard a drink and some snacks," she says as he wheels her into the living room.

Sherlock looks up from his laptop and closes it, takes out his earbuds, and stands, ready to help as needed.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at Sherlock as he stands. "Beard's on his way," he informs.

"We can put on some coffee," he suggests. As for snacks, he doesn't know if they actually have any, but he's also pretty sure Beard won't be expecting any in their current state. He's not exactly a demanding friend - he's usually the one doing the providing.

Ted stops the couch and an armchair, then goes to help Joan up, but points questioningly to each seat, for where she wants to sit.

[formersurgeon]

Joan points to the armchair. It's probably a little easier to remain upright, and it gives Beard plenty of space to stretch out.

"I shall make the coffee," Sherlock says, heading to the kitchen. There might be some biscuits they could have with the coffee as well.

[theodorelasso]

"Thanks, bud," Ted answers Sherlock, holding his hands out to Joan and helping her up so she can sit in the chair. Before he lets go after she's let go though, he lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it with a playful smile, before he sits down in the couch closest to her, to wait until Beard arrives.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles at the kiss, absolutely charmed by it, and after he sits down she reaches for his hand. She can hear Sherlock in the kitchen preparing coffee, and she thinks about what he and Ted are on their way to do. It's not a pleasant thought.

"How are you feeling about the trip to the morgue?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted purses his lips as he considers the question. "Something like this, I guess," he answers, and then he does an exaggerated full-body shudder, then smiles at her. As a location, it creeps him out a little.

"No, I mean, it's gonna be alright," he adds. "We're just gonna talk. It's not like he needs to be identified."

[formersurgeon]

She smiles at his demonstration of the willies.

"True. There's no mystery about his identity." That's something about being killed in custody...they know exactly who you are. "They might offer to let you see him," she suggests. "If you want. I imagine they'll also leave the decision about whether the casket is open or closed up to you."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods a bit, considering that, and then shakes his head. "No, I'd rather not," he answers softly. He can't exactly point to any good memories of Turner and say he'd rather remember him that way. But he remembers him more as scared and sad and lonely, than as angry and lashing out. Or at least he tries to.

He pauses for a bit. "I mean, if no one came to claim him, I doubt there'll be a lot of people at the funeral.." he says sadly.

[formersurgeon]

"It might just be the three of us," she says softly. Because of course Sherlock will come. He knows how important this is to Ted.

"Have you ever been to a morgue before? Maybe when your father died?"

She says it very gently, and with a squeeze of his hand, knowing it's going to be painful to think about. She feels it's important to bring it up, though, because if he has associations it would be better to address them ahead of time.

[theodorelasso]

He knows others will come if he asks, to support him. He just doesn't know if he wants to. If they'll understand why he's doing it.

He shakes his head at her question. "No, I didn't deal with any of that stuff," he answers. Which is not completely strange - he was 16, after all.

[formersurgeon]

He might not have dealt with it, but he might have still gone with his mother, to support her. Apparently not, though, and Joan won't push further.

"If anything happens," she says, "I'm always just a phone call away, okay?" She knows that if Ted has a panic attack the first thing Sherlock will do is call her, but it's important that Ted knows that so maybe it can help him keep calm.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles and gives her hand a grateful squeeze. "I know. It'll be fine," he reassures. Ted figures she's more thinking about whatever unexpected thing could happen, not whether or not he has a panic attack. As far as she knows, he's only had one, and that was when he was outright attacked.