Joan watches him contemplating, and she wonders what he's thinking about, what subject he's trying to think of how to approach. His father? His sexuality? His marriage? Something else?
She snuggles close, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, just being a comforting physical presence for him.
He puts his hand on top of hers, glad for her closeness and her patience.
"You know, uh.. Back in junior year, there was this guy on my basketball team," he says, speaking quietly, still looking up at the ceiling. It's pretty private and emotional, so eye contact is a bit much.
And given it's junior year, she could probably put two and two together and realize it was less than a year after his father died, so it's emotional for more than one reason, and would probably explain some of his behavior.
"Real sweet guy, everyone on the team liked him, but also a bit of a hothead sometimes," he continues, then gives a sigh. "Then after a big match, where we pretty solidly crushed the other team, um. Afterwards, I was heading out into the parking lot, and there he was. And so were a bunch of the players from the opposing team." He pauses, chewing his lip for a second.
"And they were.. hassling him, you know, pretty sore about the loss. So I walked up, of course, told them to knock it off. I don't remember what they said, but they were pretty rude, and, well, I ended up throwing a punch at one of them. Turned into a big of a fight, and we all got in pretty big trouble afterwards. Especially my teammate. See, he'd been in some fights before, so he ended up getting transferred to a different school at the end of the semester." Ted pauses again, frowning softly up at the ceiling. "And I was.. heartbroken. A lot more than it seemed reasonable to be. And I, uh.. eventually realized that was the first guy I ever had a crush on."
Joan listens quietly as he recounts the tale. She can certainly put it in the context of a young man having just lost his father in a terrible way. He must have been so angry, that raw emotion having yet to work itself into the optimism that is such a defining characteristic now. And of course Ted would defend someone he cared about, even if that caring was confusing.
Ted shakes his head a little. "And this was, you know, early 90s, so I couldn't really look him up. I suppose I probably could now, but..."
He's kind of curious, but on the other hand, that was a very specific chapter of his life that he doesn't think about a lot. He's probably not gonna reach out to that guy, this many years later.
Joan knows it can be hard to have an incident like this where there are so many questions that will likely never be answered. It's a common experience, but that doesn't make it any easier.
"The kids that were hassling him...were the things they were saying homophobic?"
"No, they--" He pauses, considering. "I dunno, I guess they might have been," he corrects with a wry smile. Again, early 90s in high school sports. It's not entirely unlikely, no matter whether if it would've been accurate or not.
"I don't really remember. I just remember it really ticked me off," he answers. "But then I wasn't quite as mellow as I am now."
"Teenagers are usually the opposite of mellow," she says with a faint smile. "Especially teenage boys. Hormones and lack of perspective can do that. And that's without everything you were going through at that time, having just lost your father. I can't imagine anyone being mellow in those circumstances."
Ted hums in agreement. "Yeah, I hadn't quite hit my Jimmy Buffett phase," he jokes mildly. He pulls back a little so he can pull his arm free, and wrap it around Joan, then kisses the top of her head.
As sad as it is to remember this stuff, he's grateful he gets to share it with her. Sadness shared is sadness halved and all that. And Sherlock's right that his bisexuality is a significant part of his life, if a hidden one, so he wants to be able to talk about it with her.
Joan wraps her arms around him in turn, holding him close. She's glad he feels comfortable opening up to her. She knows it's hard to face difficult things like this, particularly for Ted, who wears his optimism like armor.
"I love you," she murmurs, closing her eyes as she rests her head against his chest.
"I love you too," he answers softly, resting his head against hers. It's difficult to remain sad when he's got her holding onto him like this. He closes his eyes as well, and it's not too difficult to fall asleep again after that.
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theodorelasso) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trashchildren2021-06-24 07:33 pm
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She snuggles close, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, just being a comforting physical presence for him.
no subject
"You know, uh.. Back in junior year, there was this guy on my basketball team," he says, speaking quietly, still looking up at the ceiling. It's pretty private and emotional, so eye contact is a bit much.
And given it's junior year, she could probably put two and two together and realize it was less than a year after his father died, so it's emotional for more than one reason, and would probably explain some of his behavior.
"Real sweet guy, everyone on the team liked him, but also a bit of a hothead sometimes," he continues, then gives a sigh. "Then after a big match, where we pretty solidly crushed the other team, um. Afterwards, I was heading out into the parking lot, and there he was. And so were a bunch of the players from the opposing team." He pauses, chewing his lip for a second.
"And they were.. hassling him, you know, pretty sore about the loss. So I walked up, of course, told them to knock it off. I don't remember what they said, but they were pretty rude, and, well, I ended up throwing a punch at one of them. Turned into a big of a fight, and we all got in pretty big trouble afterwards. Especially my teammate. See, he'd been in some fights before, so he ended up getting transferred to a different school at the end of the semester." Ted pauses again, frowning softly up at the ceiling. "And I was.. heartbroken. A lot more than it seemed reasonable to be. And I, uh.. eventually realized that was the first guy I ever had a crush on."
no subject
"Did you ever see him again?" she asks softly.
no subject
He's kind of curious, but on the other hand, that was a very specific chapter of his life that he doesn't think about a lot. He's probably not gonna reach out to that guy, this many years later.
no subject
"The kids that were hassling him...were the things they were saying homophobic?"
no subject
"I don't really remember. I just remember it really ticked me off," he answers. "But then I wasn't quite as mellow as I am now."
no subject
no subject
As sad as it is to remember this stuff, he's grateful he gets to share it with her. Sadness shared is sadness halved and all that. And Sherlock's right that his bisexuality is a significant part of his life, if a hidden one, so he wants to be able to talk about it with her.
no subject
"I love you," she murmurs, closing her eyes as she rests her head against his chest.
no subject