trashchildren | For Joan

It was definitely part of the question. A lot of cultures can be very insular. Just like a lot can be racist. Thankfully Ted's family isn't. (A little sheltered, perhaps, but well-meaning.)

He does make a mental note to maybe tone it down a little, if he gets to meet Joan's mom. ...Not that Ted is very good at doing that.

"My mom would love you," Ted says. "So I don't think we need to worry on that front at least."

Joan knows Asian families that wouldn't be okay with their kids dating a non-Asian, but that's not her family. Her stepdad is white, hence the Watson.

"I would love to meet your mom," she says. "And I would love to introduce you to my mom. And my dad. He would actually probably be really excited to meet you. He's a big sports fan. It's one of the things we bonded over when I was young."

"Oh yeah?" Ted asks, obviously excited by that. "Oh, you gotta make sure to give me a cheat sheet of his teams beforehand, so I don't accidentally insult them and make him my mortal enemy."

She grins at his excitement and chuckles. "He's a New Yorker, through and through. Mets and Jets. Big fan of Joe Namath, and perpetually frustrated every year the Jets fail to make it to the playoffs." She takes his hands and squeezes them. "But don't worry too much about offending him. If he disagrees with something you say he will argue with you and enjoy every second."

Ted does make an 'uh oh' face at the Jets. Yeah he's definitely said some things about them in the past. But then he laughs at the reassurances. Yeah he knows people like that. Ted can be pretty diplomatic, but he'll gladly engage in that kind of banter.

"Alright, good to know. Sounds like a New Yorker," he answers cheerfully.

All this talk of fathers suddenly reminds him though, and he looks at the time.

"Hey, would you mind if I called Henry real quick? I usually call around this time."

Joan can picture it, Henry Watson and Ted Lasso having an extremely friendly argument about the merits (or lack thereof) of the Jets. She also reminds herself to bring her Jets jersey the next time they spend the night together. She thinks Ted would get a kick out of it.

She lifts her eyebrows and smiles at his question. "Oh, absolutely! Take as much time as you want. Do you need the room?"

She doesn't know if he likes to call him from the living room, and she doesn't want to intrude on his private time with his son.

"Oh no, I'm just gonna check in, I don't mind you listening in," he answers.

If he was gonna sit around in video call for ages, like he often does, then maybe. But he already knew Joan was gonna stay here late, so he didn't plan for a long conversation.

He picks up the phone, and then pauses. "I wasn't gonna mention you're here though, in case he asks and then tells Michelle. Haven't mentioned you to her yet and I don't want her to find out through him, you know."

"No, that makes sense," she says. She definitely wouldn't want Ted to have to tell his son or his ex-wife about her until he's ready. Even then she would understand if he wanted to avoid talking about her with Henry. At least until it's necessary for one reason or another.

She sits back to give him a little space.

Ted is pretty certain he's gonna have to tell them eventually, since he can't imagine Joan leaving his life. But even so, it's a sensitive subject, and Michelle might have complicated feelings, and he wants to be very conscious of introducing Henry to a girlfriend, and how he handles it. So today is definitely not that day.

He smiles at Joan and then calls. After a few moments he smiles happily, as Henry picks up.

"Hey bud! How you doing? ... Oh really? ... No way." He laughs a bit. "Yeah, I'm good. I cooked bierocks today, remember those? ... No, I didn't burn them. I did that one time, kiddo." He turns a little and gives Joan a dramatic eyeroll before he focuses back on the conversation.
"Yeah, I bet. ... Nah, I just wanted to check in, tell you I miss you. ... Yeah, I love you too. ... Tell your mom hi from me? ... Alright then, bye bye."

She watches him talking to his son, and it's the sweetest thing. He's so happy to talk to him, so playful (that eyeroll draws a smile from Joan) and so loving. Joan is already deeply in love with this man, and yet witnessing this makes her heart swell just a little bit more.

"How is he?" she asks when the call is over.

"He's good, he was just telling me dinosaur facts," Ted answers with a grin. "I'm sure I'll get a full report about that later. Oh, hot tip for talking with kids, make sure you have a favorite dinosaur. Mine's apatosaurus, which is 100% because of Land Before Time."

She laughs at that. "Personally, I don't think you can go wrong with the pterodactyl. I think there was one of those in Land Before Time, too. Oh, remind me to tell you about the case that involved a fossilized dinosaur egg sometime. Anyway." Her voice and her smile both soften. "It was really nice watching you talking to your son."

Ted's eyebrows lift at the bit about the dinosaur egg. He will definitely ask about that later.

He smiles back at the comment about talking to Henry. "Aww, well, it's real nice doing the talking too."

He gives her a mock serious expression. "But, first of all, Petrie was a pteranodon, not a pterodactyl. Second, neither of those are actually dinosaurs. And I don't mind, I'm just telling you this because some kids will take offense."

Ted may not have been big on school, but it's amazing what kind of random information you end up with just interacting with kids.

"Really? Oh man. I need to brush up on my paleontology. And apparently watch Land Before Time again."

She smiles at him fondly, then drops her eyes, suddenly feeling a little shy, perhaps a little overwhelmed with emotion.

"So..." She glances up. "What do we do now?"

Ted smiles, noting her emotion curiously.

"...Watch Land Before Time?" he suggests playfully, but then quickly changes his mind. "Actually no, never mind, I will definitely cry. Especially after two glasses of wine."

There's something about seeing a man be good with kids that gets to Joan, and that's cranked up to 11 here. She chuckles a little and picks up her wine glass again.

"No sad kids movies, got it. We could talk more. We could go to bed. We could go to bed and talk more once we're there."

"I like that last one, good middle-ground," he agrees, and leans forward to give her a quick kiss.

He picks up his glass and gets to his feet, draining what's left of the wine, and then going to put away the rest of the food. They make amazing breakfast leftovers too.

"Middle ground it is!" She finishes her wine as well and grabs her plate, following Ted into the kitchen. She sets her dishes by the sink then leans back against the counter, watching him put things away.

"It will be nice to be able to fall asleep with you," Joan muses. "Not that I'm particularly tired at the moment. Just thinking about it."

Ted hums gently in agreement. He's definitely missed sharing a bed. And there's something lovely and intimate about it.

"And I don't even snore," he says with a chuckle.

"Good to know," she says with a smile.

She's quiet for a moment, watching him finish his work.

"We should probably talk about sex," she says near the end.

The comment catches him off guard, and he mentally stumbles for a moment, blinking at her.

"Yeah, no, definitely," he agrees. "It's a... a good topic."

Yeah, this is clearly not something he does often. And he absolutely does want to talk about it, but he also knows he's going to be vaguely uncomfortable while they do. (That's alright though, he can deal with uncomfortableness.)

He's adorable when he stammers like that, and Joan smiles wide with amusement.

"I'll follow your lead," she promises, hoping the control puts him more at ease. "However you want the conversation to go."

"Right," Ted answers, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. While he appreciates maybe not being blindsided by questions he has no idea how to answer, he hadn't really prepped any questions either.

"Uh, are you on birth control?" he asks, because that's the thing that had actually occurred to him earlier.

It's a good place to start.

"Yes. I have an IUD." With her sex life being so varied in New York, a "set it and forget it" method seemed best.

She waits for his next question.

Ted nods. Alright, good to know, good to know...

He tries to think of more questions. And, more importantly, how to phrase them.

The moment drags on.

"Okay, I don't actually really know how to do this," he admits, which should not be a surprise. He goes and sits down at the kitchen table. "How about you just, I dunno, tell me things you think I should know? Or ask me things?"

Turns out being in control of the conversation doesn't help if you have no idea what to do with it.

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