For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

It takes almost no time at all for those sensations to draw helpless small moans out Ted, and he bites his lip to try to muffle the sound. He tries very hard not to push his hips up against her, but he definitely can't help but squirm a little.

Soon enough he's panting, and one particularly firm touch against his prostate draws a whimper out of him, his cock twitching a little. "Holy..." he breathes, closing his arms against his face for a moment, grabbing harder onto the pillow and arching his neck. If she keeps this up, it's definitely not going to take him much longer.

[formersurgeon]

Yes, every moan, every squirm, every arch of his hips and every gasped word, it's all exquisite. Earlier in the shower she pulled back when he was about to come, but she's not going to do that this time. Instead she speeds up her motions, just a little, hitting his prostate a little harder and flicking her tongue along the slit in the head of his cock at the same time. She's going to continue this until he completely comes apart.

[theodorelasso]

She's doing a great job of it too. He forgets to even worry about how loud he is or isn't being, every movement drawing short rapid moans out of him, slightly muffled by his arms still covering his face, until he moves them back, stretching out his arms to push against the headboard.

"Jo.. Joan..." he gasps, barely able to get her name out. "Fuck..."

He gasps, and then he falls completely silent as his throat closes up, his back arching as he comes, toes curling, his whole body tensing up, shaking a little and completely lost in the sensations washing over him from inside.

[formersurgeon]

He's getting louder as his orgasm approaches, and in the back of Joan's mind she's wondering how much can be heard from the living room, and if Beard and Sherlock are sitting there listening to Ted's moans. But at this moment Joan really doesn't care. This is amazing, and she wants Ted to experience every last ounce of this without fear of whether he's being heard.

She hears him swear, and she feels a sudden burst of pride, that she's driven him so completely wild that he can't even help himself. Then he's coming, his anus clenching around her finger, his cock pulsing between her lips as his come fills her mouth. She swallows, with only a little managing to dribble at the corner of her mouth. She continues to move her finger slowly and to suckle him, swallowing again as smaller amounts are released as the climax subsides.

[theodorelasso]

Ted collapses but continues squirming as the climax fades, panting hard, breathless and completely overwhelmed. The fact he can't see anything only makes the physical sensations stronger.

Soon the fact that her finger is still moving around and her mouth is still on him becomes almost unbearable. "St.. stop, I can't.." he pleads with a whimper, and he's grabbing onto his pillow so hard he doesn't even think to try to push her away.

[formersurgeon]

The desperation in that plea goes right to her heart, and she releases his cock from her mouth and gently removes her finger. She wipes away the bit of come on her chin with the back of her hand and reaches for a wet wipe from the nightstand to clean her finger as she watches over him with a smile, allowing him a moment to recover.

[theodorelasso]

He just lies there for a moment, trying to catch his breath, feeling exhausted and boneless in the best kind of way, like he's floating in the darkness, utterly content and utterly spent.

Finally he starts regaining some sense of where he is, and the fact that Joan is no longer touching him. He feels it's safe enough now to reach down and pull the blindfold off, though he doesn't actually pull his hands apart just yet. He just wants to look at her.

And he sees her sitting there, completely naked and smiling down at him, looking so happy and loving, and his heart swells, and he blushes furiously at the same time. He feels speechless, and all he can do is smile back at her.

[formersurgeon]

He blushed and smiles, and Joan sighs happily, so deeply in love with this man.

She puts the wipe aside and moves up the bed so she can cup his cheek and kiss him with a touch of desperation, pouring all her love and adoration into the kiss.

[theodorelasso]

Now finally Ted pulls his hands apart from the tie, so he can wrap his arms tightly around her, holding her like he never wants to let go.

He kisses her back, so exhausted but still kissing her back with just as much adoration.

She's so good to him. The fact she wanted to make him feel good is one thing, but what's truly overwhelming is the way she made him feel safe and loved and attractive and protected and cherished all at once.

He feels so completely lost in his love for this woman that he starts tearing up, and he sniffs a bit, the slew of emotions coming over him like a wave and finally getting the better of him.

[formersurgeon]

She hears that sniff, and she breaks the kiss to look at his face. She sees those tears in his eyes, and she caresses his cheek, her forehead creased with concern.

"What's wrong?" she murmurs. "Are you okay?"

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah," he answers quietly, voice thick with emotions, and he nods and smiles to reassure her, even as he sniffs again. "Sorry." He's kind of embarrassed that he's now softly crying, which puts another layer onto how much he's feeling overwhelmed with emotion right now.

He doesn't think he can explain it, and right now words feel pretty difficult, so he just leans forward, pulling her into a hug as he buries his face in her neck, holding onto her tightly.

[formersurgeon]

She wraps arms around him and holds him tightly, her heart aching for him. She knows he's struggling with so much right now, more than he's verbalized to her. She wishes she could make everything better, but she knows the best thing to do is to be here, holding him.

"It's okay," she murmurs, gently stroking his hair. "I've got you."

[theodorelasso]

It's not even necessarily a bad cry. Like when you cry at a wedding. He doesn't feel sad, not really. There's just so much swirling around inside him, both good and bad, though the good is at the forefront.

But even so, he deeply appreciates her holding him and comforting him. He really does feel so safe with her.

As he starts calming down a bit, he pulls back and gives her a smile, reaching up to wipe at his face. "Can we just cuddle for a while?" he asks quietly.

[formersurgeon]

"Of course," she answers, giving him a gentle smile in return, although there's still concern in her expression. "Do you want to get under the covers? We might be more comfortable that way."

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah," Ted agrees, nodding, and gets up so they can crawl under the covers. Once they lie down together, rather than cuddling up like the normally do, Ted lies down with his head resting on Joan's chest, wordlessly seeking comfort from her. She's done nothing but make him feel safe since they entered the room, so he feels comfortable enough doing so.

[formersurgeon]

Joan wraps.her arms around him, gently rubbing his shoulder to soothe him. She's concerned and wishes he'd tell her what he's feeling, but she knows he'll talk if and when he wants to. For the moment she'll be his rock, something steady he can cling to so the flood of emotions can't sweep him away.

[theodorelasso]

"That was amazing, by the way," he says quietly, smiling gently. "Thank you." He turns his head a little to press a kiss against her skin. He doesn't want her to think it was anything she did. Well, it kind of was, but in a good way. It's cathartic. For having just cried, he actually feels really good.

[formersurgeon]

She lifts her head to press a kiss into his hair. "You're welcome," she murmurs with a smile, petting his hair. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love making you feel good."

[theodorelasso]

"No one's ever done something like that for me before," he admits quietly. (Or to him.) He means it in a broader sense too, not just making him feel that way sexually, but also emotionally. Which probably explains some of why he got so emotional.

[formersurgeon]

"I figured," she says with a quiet smile, referring to the sexual stuff. Joan's sexual experience is far more extensive and varied than Ted's. There's a part of her that wishes they could be exploring this sort of thing for the first time together. but she knows this is better. She knows what to do so he feels not only good but also safe and cared for.

[theodorelasso]

"I, uh.. wouldn't mind trying more stuff like that," he adds, which makes him blush a little bit again. He leaves the request vague, partly because he's not sure what he would even ask for, and partly to let Joan make her own suggestions. She's clearly a lot more comfortable and familiar with this sort of thing than he is, which makes it a lot less daunting. Not only will she not be embarrassed, but she'll also take the lead so he doesn't have to. That in itself is somewhat unfamiliar to him.

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles and kisses his head again. "We can do that," she says. There are so many things they can explore, and she's glad Ted is open to experimentation, even if he blushes at the thought. "How did it feel to have the tie around your wrists?" she asks, curious since that was the part that she had been most concerned about.

[theodorelasso]

He's kind of glad he can't actually see her face right now, just feel her comforting touch. It makes talking about it a little easier.

"I, uh.. I liked it," he answers, a bit hesitantly. For a moment it might seem like he's maybe just saying that, or unsure, but no. "I mean, I... really liked it. It felt nice," he adds, smiling. He's just shy about how much he enjoyed that concept. He's not sure he can properly put words to why.

[formersurgeon]

She nods a little to herself at that, eyebrows raised. She hadn't expected him to like it that much, but she can totally work with that.

"How do you think you would feel if I knotted the tie? If you couldn't just pull your hands apart?"

She wants to tease this out a little, to figure out exactly what he likes and where the limits might be.

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah, um, I.. I think I'd like that," he says, smiling, and it's getting a little easier to talk about it, now the subject's been broached. He's still just generally a little resistant to ask for things when it comes to bedroom activities, but if she's asking him for his opinion on stuff, then yeah.

"Or, you know, to the bedposts or something." He says it like it's an off-hand suggestion, but it's also pretty clear that this is not the sort of subject where he would just make off-hand suggestions without having thought about it.