For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

He softens when she apologizes, and also gets a bit sad at being reminded of that. He had been pretty worried and upset at her disappearing, even if he didn't really blame her for it.

"It's okay," he answers softly, and he does mean it. "You'll get to eventually, and then it will probably be a better time for it."

You know, sometime when they're not all worried, and Ted is on pain meds, and he hasn't had a chance to tell Michelle about Joan. It would have been nice, but it also would have been a bit awkward.

[formersurgeon]

She doesn't tell him about having gotten right to the door before balking upon seeing how happy Ted was with Henry and Michelle. She's disappointed with herself for not knowing that Ted loved her, and doesn't want him to feel bad about the chance so narrowly missed.

"That's definitely true," she agrees. It had not been the easiest of times for anyone. Throwing in a difficult situation like introducing a new girlfriend would have been suboptimal, to say the least.

[theodorelasso]

He pauses a bit as he considers it. "...Plus, it probably would've been weird if I introduced you to them, and then we quote-unquote broke up the very next day," he considers with a soft, sleepy chuckle. "At least now I don't have to lie to them about it." Silver linings and all that.

[formersurgeon]

"That is an excellent point," she says. "Maybe everything worked out for the best." She smiles, thinking of Leibniz. "The best of all possible worlds."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles and makes a noise of approval, then falls silent for a bit, trying and failing to think of something to say as sleepiness slowly threatens to overcome him.

"...Do you wanna stay on the line till I fall asleep?" he asks softly. He'd just really like to fall asleep with her next to him, and this is as close as they can get. Besides... It's his first night on his own since what happened, and he'd rather not feel entirely alone in the dark.

[formersurgeon]

"I'd like that," she answers just as softly. She wishes she could be there with him, especially tonight, but this will have to do.

"I love you, Ted," she murmurs.

[theodorelasso]

"Love you too, Joan," he answers quietly, closing his eyes. Pretending she's next to him. "Mmm, I mean Ms. Fletcher," he adds teasingly.

[formersurgeon]

She laughs softly. "Right." She smiles playfully. "Gottfried."

[theodorelasso]

"Mmm," he answers, making a face. "Think I prefer Leibniz." His voice is getting more muffled as he gets sleepier.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles. "Leibniz," she repeats gently. She can hear his voice getting sleepier, and her voice gets softer, to help ease him into sleep. "I'm right here," she assures him. She can imagine it's hard to be alone after what he's been through.

[theodorelasso]

"I know.." he answers softly, gratefully. The sleepier he gets, the easier it is to pretend she's right there. After that he falls quiet, slowly dozing off.

[formersurgeon]

He goes quiet, and Joan can just barely hear his breath, slow and soft. She smiles sadly, missing him so much. She waits, listening to him breathe, making sure that he's asleep before she hangs up.

"I love you," she whispers once more, hoping his subconscious hears her.

She ends the call, then presses the phone to her chest, staring up at the ceiling, her heart aching.