For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

She hears that sniff and looks up to see the tears. Her forehead creases in concern. "Hey," she says softly, reaching up to gently brush his tears from his cheek. "You okay?"

It's been so hard, having all these horrible things happen and having to deal with them while half a world apart. She can understand why he might be crying for any number of reasons, from stress to relief to happiness.

[theodorelasso]

It's a little bit of everything. Just a lot of stored up emotions, finally allowed to be let out, because he feels safe. But most of all they're good tears.

"Yeah," he answers, then arches his neck a little to give her a soft kiss. "I'm just so happy you're here."

[formersurgeon]

She kisses him back, gently caressing his cheek. "I'm so happy to be here," she murmurs. "I missed you so much."

Her own heart is so full of relief and joy and love. They're safe now. They don't have to be strong and fight through the pain, trying not to focus on the bleakness of their situation. It's safe to allow themselves to lean on and into each other.

Joan takes a breath and buries her face into his shoulder again. She's not crying yet, but there are definitely tears in her eyes.

[theodorelasso]

Ted squeezes her a little, resting his head against hers. He closes his eyes and just breathes. Letting himself relax as fully as he can, for the first time in a while.

It doesn't take long before he falls asleep, just listening to her breathing.

[formersurgeon]

She listens to his breathing as well, allowing her own breath to slow along with his, her own body to relax against his. She's so weary on so many levels, and gradually her conscious mind loosens it's hold, and she slips into the warm darkness of a dreamless sleep.

[theodorelasso]

Ted doesn't require a lot of sleep, and he did actually get a little bit before this. So it's not too many hours before he wakes up, with zero nightmares.

He doesn't get up, though. Just looks down at Joan and smiles to himself.

After a little while, probably closing in on lunch time, he starts getting hungry though. He carefully attempts to extricate himself from Joan, gently so he doesn't jostle her awake, so he can head to the kitchen and go make them both some lunch.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is sleeping peacefully as he looks at her, but begins to stir as he moves. She opens her eyes and blinks at him sleepily, smiling.

"Hey," she says softly. "Everything okay?" There's no worry in her tone, just gently checking in on him.

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah. I'm gonna make some food," he says gently, speaking quietly to make sure she keeps that sleepiness. He kisses the top of her head as he gets up. "Go back to sleep."

[formersurgeon]

"Mmm." She smiles at the kiss, her eyes drifting closed again. "Love you," she murmurs as she settles back into sleep.

[theodorelasso]

"You too," he whispers back, before grabbing a crutch and quietly hobbling off to the kitchen.

He doesn't go too fancy, since he doesn't have a lot. He's been ordering a lot of food the past few days. But he makes some scrambled eggs, some toast, and cuts up some fruit.

He looks at the assembled food thoughtfully. There's no way he can carry that stuff. But he has a poke around and finds some lunch boxes, which he puts the food on. Then he puts the boxes in a bag, along with a carton of orange juice, and two glasses.

It's not as fancy as carrying it in on a tray, but darn it, he's determined.

So after a little bit, he sits back down on the bed and starts unpacking from the bag.

[formersurgeon]

Joan snoozes as he cooks, and wakes again when he sits on the bed. She pushes herself up to sitting, stretching her arms and yawning before sitting back against the wall.

"Mmm. That smells good."

[theodorelasso]

"It's simple stuff, but you can't go wrong with scrambled eggs," he answers with a smile, handing her a lunch box and a fork. He even partitioned it so the fruit isn't getting heated by the eggs, and the toast isn't getting soggy.

"I can't really carry a tray like this," he adds, for explanation.

[formersurgeon]

"This is kinda brilliant," she says, duly impressed. She takes a forkful of eggs and puts it in her mouth, and is wholly unsurprised that they're delicious. "Mmm," she says with a smile. "I've missed your cooking."

[theodorelasso]

"I've missed cooking for you," Ted answers happily, settling in comfortably and digging in. "Did you sleep well?"

[formersurgeon]

She leans against him so they're shoulder to shoulder as they eat. "Best I've slept in a while," she says. "How about you?"

[theodorelasso]

"Like a baby," he answers cheerfully. "In other words, peacefully, but only for a couple hours," he adds with a chuckle. "I figure we can just order something in for dinner. Maybe move to the couch at some point if we're feeling adventurous."

[formersurgeon]

"All the way to the couch?" she teases. "Let's not get too crazy here!"

Joan eats a bit of fruit. "So," she says after she swallows, "how has the team been doing?"

[theodorelasso]

"Well..." he says, frowning gently. "There's been a lot to deal with lately. But Beard and Nate are doing a good job. And I think they were... you know, powered by spite and righteousness."

They are very loyal to Ted at this point. Even the ones who don't always agree with him.

[formersurgeon]

"They'll be happy when you're back," she says. "They must miss you a lot."

She knows how tight a bond he has with his players and with Beard and Nate. She knows he misses all of them a lot as well.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods a bit. "Hopefully they'll let me come back soon," he answers. He's basically been ordered to take time to heal. Not just physically, but from the emotional strain. But soon enough the strain of staying away will probably be worse. "I did go visit them though."

Ted continues talking about the visit and the team, the stuff they're working on and trying to improve. He's clearly aching to get back to them.

They do make it to the living room eventually, and order some food, then pick a movie to watch.

Ted finds it difficult to actually focus on it though. As much as he's decided to not worry about anything, the worry seems to sneak in anyway.

[formersurgeon]

Joan snuggles against him as they watch the movie. She's relaxed and still a little tired, but still observant enough to notice that Ted's focus is drifting and he seems worried.

"Hey," she says finally. "Is everything okay?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted takes a moment to register she's talking to him, and blinks in surprise as he looks over at her. "Oh, sorry, guess I'm a little distracted..."

[formersurgeon]

Joan reaches for the remote and pauses the movie, then pulls back so she can sit facing him with her legs crossed.

"What's up?" Her tone is gentle, not aggressive. She wants to help.

[theodorelasso]

Ted bites his lip, considering if he even wants to talk about it right now. But apparently he can't not think about it, and Joan obviously wants to help.

He sighs and gets to his feet, carefully limping over to a drawer. "I wanted to give us a little time before I shared this, but..."

He pulls out the envelope with the photo of Rupert, and Moriarty's signature. "This is what I actually called about when you told me about Turner," he says, handing her the envelope and sitting down heavily.

[formersurgeon]

She sees him debating whether or not to tell her, and her concern deepens. What could be so bad that he wouldn't want to tell her?

She takes the envelope, her brow furrowed, remembering that Ted had indeed been calling her at an unusual time that morning, and they hadn't talked about it at all. She opens the envelope, and her stomach drops.

"Where did you get this?"