For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[formersurgeon]

Joan definitely doesn't see herself as being in competition with Henry. She knows that if there's ever a time when Ted has to choose between the two of them, he will choose Henry, and he absolutely should. Joan is going to do everything she can to make sure Ted never has to choose.

She smiles at the question, considering her answer. "There's this place in upstate New York where there's a cabin on a lake. It's surrounded by trees. You wouldn't even know it's there if you didn't know to look for this tiny dirt road heading into the trees. It's the perfect place for just getting away from everything."

[theodorelasso]

"Oh, that sounds amazing," Ted answers with a longing sigh. "I'm sort of stuck between just... a farm in the middle of nowhere, with a minimum of one dog.. Or somewhere really exotic, like a tropical island or a ski lodge or something like that. Just to have something completely new and exciting, you know?"

[formersurgeon]

"All of that sounds great," Joan says, smiling softly. "I'd love to go to those places with you."

To be fair, she'd go anywhere with him.

"I've never had a dog," she muses. "We have a tortoise. And we had chickens that one time."

[theodorelasso]

"A tortoise?" Ted asks with soft excitement. "That's adorable, what's its name?" Of course they'd have unconventional pets. Bees and tortoises and chickens. They probably wouldn't have time to care for a dog whenever they were on a case anyway.

[formersurgeon]

"Clyde," she says, smiling at Ted's enthusiasm. "He's being taken care of by a friend of ours in New York."

She takes his hand, threading their fingers together. "Did you have any pets growing up?"

[theodorelasso]

"Not really, no," Ted answers, looking at their intertwined hands. "Had a dog for about a year in high school. That's about it."

[formersurgeon]

She frowns faintly at that. "Only a year?" she says, squeezing his hand. "What happened?"

[theodorelasso]

"Oh, he was an old dog," Ted answers reassuringly. "Adopted my neighbor's dog. Uh... Well, I guess I'm telling this story out of order," he says thoughtfully, rethinking how to tell it.

"So, when I was a kid, I used to be really scared of dogs. See, when I was three years old, I got bitten by one. I don't remember it, but apparently it was pretty scary. So I would just bawl my eyes out if there was dog anywhere near me," he explains. "Then when I was in high school, my neighbor's wife died, and, well, he was pretty upset about that, of course. So he couldn't bring himself to take care of his dog anymore. Hank. Same one that bit me. So I started taking care of him, feeding him, taking him for walks. And eventually, I adopted him, when our neighbor got put into a nursing home. But, like I said, he was old. We had to put him down a year later."

[formersurgeon]

"I'm so sorry," she says softly. It's interesting to hear about that part of his childhood, how he came to love and care for a creature who had once caused him pain and fear. She can't help but think of Turner. Had he looked at that man as something akin to Hank? Did he see in him someone who could be loved and cared for?

[theodorelasso]

Ted absolutely did. Probably not by he himself - but he definitely saw Turner someone who could have been a much better person, in time, had he been shown that kindness and patience. And the fact he was robbed of that opportunity simply to send a message had definitely broken Ted's heart a little.

Ted is sort of thinking along the same lines, frowning softly to himself. Thinking about what could have been.

[formersurgeon]

Joan sees that frown, that sadness in his expression, and she wonders if perhaps he's thinking the same thing. Again she wishes these terrible things hadn't happened to this good, kind, gentle man.

She reaches up to gently turn his face toward hers, to give him a soft kiss.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles softly into the kiss, at the gentle affection shown when she notices him being sad. He loves her for that. He squeezes her shoulders gently in gratitude.

He bites his lip thoughtfully for a second. "Do you think it would be inappropriate if I went to Turner's funeral?"

[formersurgeon]

That's so Ted, and she loves him for it. "I think it would be very sweet for you to go," she answers softly. "He didn't really have any family, and not many friends."

She gives him another soft kiss.

"Can I come with you?"

[theodorelasso]

"Of course," he answers, happy that she wants to come with. He's sure it will be emotional for him, so he's glad to have her support. "Just feel like it might provide some closure, you know?"

The trial and all that would've been the other form of closure, but of course now they won't have that. Well... not for Turner. Rupert, however, hopefully. And that will surely be an ordeal, but worth it if it means he won't get to hurt anyone else.

[formersurgeon]

"It might," she says. "I've counseled a lot of grieving families as a doctor and as a detective. Closure can be a tricky thing. But I think going to the funeral will help."

She thinks it's a good idea, and that it will help him process his feelings about Turner and what Turner did to him, but she doesn't want him to set his expectations too high.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods a bit. Not like he magically expected to feel better or anything, but it'll be a step. He continues thinking about that for a second, and then he suddenly shakes his head a little bit, like he's shaking away the thoughts.

"What about you, you have any pets growing up?" he asks, to bring them back the nicer subject.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles, happy to get back to the pets conversation.

"I did not," she says, snuggling close again. "My mother wasn't into the idea."

[theodorelasso]

"Right, right," Ted answers with a smile, nodding. "Didn't place that much value on the nurturing kind of responsibility, I take it?"

[formersurgeon]

"Not so much," she agrees. "My mom is also the sort that doesn't like to be out of control. There's only so much control you can have over a pet."

Or a mental illness, she adds in her mind.

[theodorelasso]

"Or kids," Ted points out. Or so much control you should have, at least. If you want them to be healthy and happy. Which ideally, as a parent, you should definitely want.

[formersurgeon]

"I think she thought she would have a lot more control in that arena than she actually did," she says, amused. "She still tries to control us. She's more successful than I would like. And less successful than she would like."

[theodorelasso]

"Sounds about right, yeah," Ted agrees. "Hey, at least you've worked out a middle ground, huh?" he jokes, mostly cause Joan seems amused by it. If it were a more fraught relationship, he definitely wouldn't have made that joke. "Hey, that's actually one of the interesting differences between coaching football and soccer, once you're actually in a match."

[formersurgeon]

"For the most part," Joan says with a smile. Of course it's harder now with her mom's Alzheimer's, but she doesn't want to bring down the conversation again.

"How so?" Joan knows football pretty well, but not much about soccer.

[theodorelasso]

"That you can't really tell them what to do," he explains. "You just gotta... send them out there and hope they remember what you tried to teach them, you know?"

[formersurgeon]

"That is very much like being a parent," she agrees. She smiles. "That must be why you're an amazing parent and an amazing coach."