For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[theodorelasso]

Once Ted feels like he can actually move his arms again, he wraps them gently around her, and softly kisses her hair. He doesn't make an effort to move beyond that, resting his head against hers, content to just lie there all tangled together while they regain their senses a bit.

[formersurgeon]

It's simple and perfect, being folded in his arms, hearing his heartbeat, feeling enveloped by the warmth of post-coital bliss. There are things to be done, and she's going to have to tear herself away eventually, but for the moment she doesn't even think about that, just resting with him, breathing with him, unified.

[theodorelasso]

Ted has to fight the urge to just fall asleep right there, even if it's very tempting and comfortable, because he knows she has to go soon.

But he's also not quite ready to let go of her completely.

"You wanna take a shower?" he suggests after a few minutes of comfortable silence. He hasn't tried, but he's pretty sure his shower is big enough to fit them both. And they definitely both need one.

[formersurgeon]

She wishes they could fall asleep together, spend the night together. That they can't was the biggest drawback to having sex right then. But they'll have a chance. As soon as the case is over and she's free, she intends to spend as much time with Ted as possible.

A shower is a great idea. They definitely both need one, and it will wake them up. Not to mention it will be a pleasure to be wet and naked with him.

"I'd like that," she says.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods a little, gives her hair another kiss, and reluctantly starts going about disentangling himself from Joan so they can both get up. It immediately feels chilly once they're no longer glued together, especially with the slight stickiness of sweat, and yeah, a shower is a great idea.

He leads the way to the bathroom, pulling off the condom and tossing it in the trash there, then turns the shower on to give it a moment to heat up.

[formersurgeon]

She also feels the chill the moment they're apart. She follows him into the bathroom, and once he's turned on the water she wraps her arms around him, snuggling close to keep warm while the water heats up, wanting to be in his arms as much as possible before she has to leave.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles, a little surprised but very happily so. And while being naked together while having sex is undeniably great, there's something special about this kind of non-sexual gentle intimacy.

"Have I mentioned you're amazing?" he murmurs quietly with a soft chuckle, draping his arms comfortably around her.

[formersurgeon]

It's very special, a sort of tenderness that Joan hasn't experienced in a long time. She laughs softly, looking up at him.

"You might have mentioned it," she says with a playful smile.

She settles her head on his chest, the benefit of being a good nine inches shorter than him in bare feet, and tightened her hold a little.

"What's your schedule like the next couple days?" she asks.

[theodorelasso]

"You know, work. Got a match in Cardiff coming up," he answers, resting his head against the top of hers. "Why?"

[formersurgeon]

Him resting his head against hers is so sweet, and she sighs happily, closing her eyes.

"When this case is over," she says, "I want to spend the night with you."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles against her hair, and squeezes her tighter for just a moment. "I'd like that, yeah," he agrees. At least the benefit of his job compared to hers is that his nights are usually free. Sometimes they have evening matches, but even then they're done by ten.

He straightens up a little and reaches out to feel the water, which is nice and comfortable now. He doesn't quite let go of her though, instead just gently tugging her along into the shower with a smile.

[formersurgeon]

His nights are usually free and he has some semblance of a schedule. Joan's job is unpredictable, and while she can choose to step away and take a break, letting Sherlock pick up the slack (as she does for him on the occasions when he needs the time) it's possible, even likely, that someday she and Ted will be together and Joan's phone will ring and she'll have to leave to go to a crime scene. It's not an easy life, either for her or for anyone with her. Many a cop has had their marriage fall apart for this very reason. She hopes it won't wear on what she and Ted have.

She follows him into the shower, under the spray of hot water, and sighs happily.

"That feels really nice."

[theodorelasso]

Well it can't be worse than trying to repair a marriage while on a different continent.

He hums in agreement, reaching for the body wash and offering it to her. "I don't know if you use any fancy products or anything like that, but at least we'll get clean." Ted's shower routine is pretty simple, but it's decent enough when it comes to guys, at least.

[formersurgeon]

"This will do," she says, accepting the body wash and pouring some into her hand before handing it back. "Sherlock is going to smell this the minute I walk through the door," she says with amusement as she begins to lather herself.

[theodorelasso]

"Hmm. Hard to have privacy when you live with a detective, huh?" he asks, starting to wash himself as well.

"Here, let me.." he adds, reaching around to lather her back for her. The benefit of being two people. Helping each other get clean like this is very soothing.

[formersurgeon]

"That's putting it lightly," she says, turning around so he can access her back more easily. "He's better than he used to be about boundaries, but it's not like he can turn off his sense of smell. Or his ability to put two and two together." She smiles over her shoulder. "Not that I necessarily mind him knowing."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at that. They aren't keeping it a secret anymore. And as long as Joan feels alright about it, Ted probably won't mind.

Well, he's pretty private about stuff like this. He doesn't like to kiss and tell, and wouldn't want someone to know the details of his sex life. But the fact that he has one is probably fine.

It does occur to him that he is also dating a detective, and there's probably plenty things she's deduced about him. But so far she's been incredibly respectful of his boundaries, so he doesn't think that's going to be a big problem. It does make him curious though.

"So what kind of things did you put two and two together about me before we got to know each other?" he asks with a smile.

[formersurgeon]

The question is completely reasonable, but Joan's expression is troubled when she turns around to face him.

"Are you sure you want to know?" she asks, searching his face. "Most people don't like being deduced."

She had learned her lesson on that even before she officially became a detective, when a potential boyfriend cut off all contact with her after she figured out he was in a temporary marriage of convenience.

[theodorelasso]

Ted pauses, actually considering that question. Now that she asks, it's actually a more complicated question than he initially figured. He doesn't really have any big secrets or anything like that, and there's not that many things he wants to keep private from Joan.

He wonders what she might have deduced about others before to make her worry about his reaction now though.

"I dunno," he answers honestly. "I guess... I think it'd bother me more if you made some connection about me, but then never asked me about it. You know? I'd like to have the chance to share stuff with you. Give my version of it and all that."

[formersurgeon]

She'd be happy to tell him if he asked, sharing her own story about something he's figured out. About the man who cut her off, even about the first time she met Sherlock and he hit her with a deduction about her deepest and most painful secret right off the bat. A secret Ted doesn't know yet.

"It's nothing like that," she says. "There's nothing I deduced about you at first that we haven't talked about. And to be honest, some of my first impressions turned out to be wrong."

[theodorelasso]

"Alright, that I am curious about," he says with a warm chuckle. He's plenty used to people making certain assumptions about him, and that doesn't actually bother him at all. That says more about them than about him.

[formersurgeon]

That's definitely the case in this instance.

"Okay. Well." She takes a breath. Here goes nothing. "My first impression was that your optimism and affection for your players would blind you to their faults. That the illegal activity was probably happening right under your nose and you couldn't or wouldn't see it. I was wrong. I think my assumption was that the only way you can be so positive is by ignoring reality. But you've taught me that isn't true at all."

She takes his hands.

"I'm actually really grateful to you for that."

[theodorelasso]

That's actually... really touching. And he was right, it does say more about her than it does about him, though not necessarily any surprises. Like that she's seen a lot of things that maybe have made it difficult to be an optimist. And that so easily seeing people's faults makes it hard to have faith in them.

"Well honestly, it's easy to be positive if everything's peachy, and it's easy to love someone when they're perfect," he answers. "I don't think you can truly care about someone until you've seen their faults too. You gotta accept the whole person, and you gotta be there for them even at their worst."

[formersurgeon]

He's right, and she agrees wholeheartedly, even if her acceptance of people comes with a lot more sorrow than optimism. She thinks about her biological father, abandoned to homelessness by her mother due to his schizophrenia, who Joan tried to see by volunteering at homeless shelters. Or Liam, who Joan tried to help get clean, her career as a sober companion being penance for her failure.

"I agree," she says softly, but her expression is clearly troubled. There's so much she wants to tell him.

[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns softly, and it's obvious there's something weighing on her mind. He doesn't know whether it's something she's experienced, or maybe even some flaw she has that she's worried about him now accepting. Whatever it is, he really wants to know, and to be able to be there for her.

He also knows that she doesn't really have time for it right now, it's probably not a great idea to start digging into potentially upsetting things, especially if she's going to go off to, you know, solve crime.

"Hey.." he says softly, giving her hands a comforting squeeze. "After you finish this case, you can come stay over, and we can talk for as long as we want."