For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

Ted caps the bottle and sets it down, handing her the food next. At least Christmas food makes great comfort food. He gently wraps an arm around her, not holding onto her too tightly while she eats, but just enough to give that support and presence.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is able to take a couple slow, careful bites, before she hands the plate back to Ted. She knows it's important to eat even though she's not hungry, but her stomach can't take much more than that at the moment.

Once Ted takes the plate Joan lies down again, aching and tired.

[theodorelasso]

"I brought some chips too, if you think that'll be easier," he says, but he doesn't hand it to her unless she requests it. At least she had a bunch of water, that's the most important part.

He pulls his legs up onto the bed, shifting closer to her and sitting back against the pillows so she can use him as a teddy bear, but not quite lying down. Instead he sits there, just stroking her hair, watching over her.

[formersurgeon]

"Not now," she says softly. She moves a little closer so she can rest her head against his chest and her arm over his stomach.

Sherlock looks at them for a long moment. Then he rises, but instead of leaving he goes to the other side of the bed, sitting down and drawing his legs up as well so that he's also leaning back against the pillows. He clasps his hands over his belly and sighs, settling in.

[theodorelasso]

When Sherlock rises and sits down on the other side of Joan, Ted gives him a smile and an approving nod. There's not much they can do, but if Sherlock's going to sit and be worried anyway, it's better that he does it in a way where he can comfort simply with his presence.

Ted wonders about what they'll do - he assumes Joan will want to be there for the funeral, and Ted definitely wants to be there for her. It probably won't be a very long visit for him, but it's two weeks till their next match, so he's got some leeway. For now though, he just sits there, stroking her hair and gently rubbing her back, just soft soothing gestures.

[formersurgeon]

Joan drifts off to a merciful sleep, just a soft darkness where she can rest from the grief and her body can relax.

Sherlock looks down at her, watching as her breathing slows, as her body relaxes. When he is certain she's deep enough in sleep that he won't disturb her, he looks up at Ted.

I appreciate you coming," he says softly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted watches Joan, glad she's getting some rest. He only looks up when Sherlock finally speaks.

"Of course," he answers quietly, like he'd never consider the alternative. Honestly, even if the fight had been bad enough that they would've broken up, he still would've come. He can't imagine anything that would've made him stop caring enough to want to be there for her with something this big. "I'm glad you called."

[formersurgeon]

He nods. "It was the best thing I could do for her," he says softly.

Sherlock knows Joan would want Ted to know, and that Ted is the one who would be able to care for her. But Sherlock is not the best of judges of the emotional ins and outs of relationships, and he was aware Ted was angry with Watson. Even if Ted would have come regardless, Sherlock is grateful.

[theodorelasso]

Ted was briefly angry with Sherlock too, for looking up the police report. But once he calmed down, he considered it a bit more, and, well, what was Sherlock supposed to do? He probably had the same concerns that Joan did, and Joan had asked him to do it. He wouldn't say no to that.

It's just a little awkward, knowing that they've both known about it for some time - that feeling of them maybe talking about it behind his back. But that's just not something he can focus on right now.

"Um... How did the case go?" he asks, since he hasn't heard anything about it. He doesn't know if they finished, but he assumes they don't plan on working on it now.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock understands, probably better than Ted realizes. When his relationship with Watson was in its infancy, he had hid his experience with Irene from her. And when she had pursued the information he was furious. But the fact of the matter was that it was the right thing for her to know. With the knowledge she could better help him. With the knowledge they became closer, stronger. They were all the better for it.

"We finished the case around four in the morning," he answers. "Jilted lover in the police department."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods, glad at least that they'd finished that, so it wouldn't be looming over them. No wonder she's tired though, if she came home at four, and then was woken in the morning with this news.

"Has she said anything about going to the funeral?" he asks, lowering his voice even further, despite the fact that Joan seems soundly asleep.

[formersurgeon]

"She has not," Sherlock says. "She more or less shut down immediately."

It had been distressing to see, even for Sherlock. He knows what a looming figure Watson's mother was in her life, so he can understand, but still, to see someone so strong shut down so completely...

[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns sadly, his heart hurting for both of them. "I can take a week off work, go back with you guys for the funeral," he says softly.

He hopes Joan will be slightly more herself after some sleep, and some more food. She won't be okay for a while, but it's upsetting to see her succumb to such complete inaction. Ted and Sherlock would gladly handle anything practical; packing, arranging for the journey, whatever else needed to be done... But Ted knows that Joan feels better when she can be able to do things herself.

[formersurgeon]

"Watson will appreciate that," Sherlock replies just as softly. Then after a pause: "She loves you a great deal."

It might seem strange to say that now, especially considering that Sherlock knows Ted is aware of how much Watson loves him. But this is the one thing Sherlock will say about the circumstances regarding Ted's father. It is, in the end, what matters the most. In Sherlock's estimation, at least.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods - he knows. He appreciates Sherlock saying though. He loves her too, so much. So much it hurts something awful to see her like this.

"I wish I'd stayed here last night.." he says regretfully. He just needed a little space to process, and he'd rather do that than go around being cold and tense around her. And it was probably the right call, given what he knew then, but if he'd known this would've happened, he would've been here instead. But at least he could come right away..

[formersurgeon]

"You couldn't have known," Sherlock says. He nods toward Watson. "She would say that too."

Joan stirs a little, and Sherlock quiets, watching her to see if she wakes up. But she goes still again, and Sherlock sighs.

[theodorelasso]

Ted stills as well, watching and waiting, before he resumes gently stroking her hair a bit, to soothe her. "I know.." he answers, after that long pause. "But still."

[formersurgeon]

"The two of you are very similar, you know," Sherlock says, with a hint of wryness that people not familiar with the detective would be unable to recognize as affection. "Both of you blame yourselves for things you have no control over."

It's a moment of the pot calling the kettles black, considering Sherlock does the exact same thing.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles wryly and gives a hum, nodding a little. He does do that - probably more than he realizes - though he's not sure it applies today.

"I don't blame myself for not being here," he says softly. "But that won't stop me from wishing things were different."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods, looking at Watson, then at Ted. "You're here now," he says softly.

Joan stirs again, this time waking up and opening her eyes. She blinks and looks up at Ted.

"Hey," she whispers.

[theodorelasso]

"Hey," Ted answers, smiling down at her and continuing to stroke her hair. At least this time she gets to wake up a little nicer. He doesn't ask her how she feels or offer her food, not yet; he wants to give her these few moments, before she remembers what's going on.

[formersurgeon]

Her mind is still a little clouded with sleep, and while her mother's death is in there, what comes to the forefront is her concern for Ted in the wake of (possibly in the midst of?) their conflict.

"Are you okay?" she asks softly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles, touched and so incredibly fond of her, that that's the first thing she thinks to ask.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he answers reassuringly, nodding. He leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead.

[formersurgeon]

"I'm glad," she says, closing her eyes as Ted kisses her forehead. She lays her head down on his chest again, quiet and worn, the deep pain earlier having subsided for the moment to a dull ache.

"I have to go back to New York," she murmurs.

[theodorelasso]

"I know," he answers, gently wrapping his arms around her. "I'm taking some time off work to come with you and Sherlock."

He hasn't told anyone at work this yet, but there's no way they're going to be able to stop him anyway.