trashchildren | For Joan

She's watching him carefully, staying tuned into his movements and his sounds. Experimenting like this can be all kinds of overwhelming, and the last thing Joan wants is to push him too far. So when he arches his hips and pushes against her hand she smiles, glad that he's able to signal so clearly that he wants this.

She stays with her lips close to his, so close he can doubtless feel her breath, so that she's right there if he wants to kiss her. She gently strokes his anus with her fingers, just to get him a little more acclimated to the sensation.

Then, very carefully and very slowly, she begins to slide one finger inside.

She's being so gentle and sweet and careful, making sure Ted knows he's in safe hands, making sure she doesn't do anything unexpected too fast. And Ted is making an effort to relax, to lean into it, to enjoy it and show that he's enjoying it.

He's definitely enjoying it.

When she starts pushing inside him, he automatically clenches, making himself momentarily uncomfortable before he remembers to push against her. He's glad he's tried this on his own, no matter how long ago, because it feels counterintuitive to push against her to make himself relax and open up, yet he thankfully knows to do it.

He bites his lip and pulls his hands down a bit, resting against the top of his head, and he nods to encourage her to keep going.

Joan pauses as he clenches, waiting for him to relax. She's ready to suggest he push against her when he does so on his own. It makes Joan wonder if he has actually done this before...but she doesn't think so. Not with someone else at least. Maybe he's experimented before, or maybe he's just figured it out here and now. Regardless, the muscles around her finger relax.

He nods, and she nods back, even though he can't see her. She kisses him gently, then lifts her lips from his. "I've got you," she whispers, then continues pushing inside, slow and careful. She slides her finger as far in as the second knuckle, then begins to stroke him inside, feeling for his prostate.

Ted smiles briefly at her reassurance, breathing a little heavily, partly just from the excitement and the nervousness.

He focuses on relaxing and just experiencing the sensation. And then her finger pushes against his prostate, and his mouth falls open in a quiet gasp.

That feels real good, in a way he's not sure he's experienced before. "Oh.. Oh boy.." he says, and then lets out a small breathless laugh, feeling silly and embarrassed and happy and grateful and excited all at once.

She feels the firm bump, like the tip of a nose, and Ted's reaction to the touch confirms she's found what she's looking for. She smiles wide, laughing a little along with him, so happy to see him enjoying this so much. She feels privileged to be able to make him feel this good, to be opening this door for him, giving him this experience.

She crooks her finger slightly, and begins stroking his prostate. "You like this?" she whispers.

Ted moans softly, shakily, as she begins stroking, and he lifts his hips a little to meet her hand. He swallows thickly and nods at her question. "Yeah.." he whispers back, licking his lips. "Yeah, I do.."

She did want to find out what drove Ted wild, the way it does when he pinches her nipples. She hasn't even touched his erection (which is definitely aching to be touched), and he's already squirming a bit.

She can see him squirming, and it's wonderful. She loves doing this for him, doing this to him. Driving him wild and letting the pleasure overcome him.

She can see his cock is so hard, perhaps even painfully so, and decides to see how long it takes to bring him to orgasm with her mouth.

Still fingering his prostate, she carefully slides down the bed, then bends over his hips and licks the head of his cock.

It's a very different kind of pleasure, one that spreads from the inside out, rather than the other way, and maybe the fact that it's new and unfamiliar is part of what makes it feel so good.

Even without being able to see her, he's pretty sure he knows where she's going when she moves. But even knowing that it's coming doesn't stop him from letting out something between a sudden gasp and a moan when he feels her tongue, arching his back and spreading his legs further. The anticipation for the combination of her hand and her mouth is slightly overwhelming, in the best way.

He starts to move his hands down instinctively, but the slight pressure of the tie around his wrists reminds him, and he moves them back up again, instead grabbing onto the pillow.

She sees him moving his hands in the corner of her eye, and lifts her head to gently order him to put his hands back up. Then he moves them himself, and she smiles, happy to see that the cloth around his wrists has done its job, not restraining him physically but mentally, and with his constant consent.

She leans down and takes him in her mouth, and begins to bob her head, slowly stroking his cock with her lips and her tongue while at the same time and with the same rhythm she strokes her finger in and out of him, the tip of her finger pressing his prostate at the same time her lips and tongue tease the head of his cock.

It takes almost no time at all for those sensations to draw helpless small moans out Ted, and he bites his lip to try to muffle the sound. He tries very hard not to push his hips up against her, but he definitely can't help but squirm a little.

Soon enough he's panting, and one particularly firm touch against his prostate draws a whimper out of him, his cock twitching a little. "Holy..." he breathes, closing his arms against his face for a moment, grabbing harder onto the pillow and arching his neck. If she keeps this up, it's definitely not going to take him much longer.

Yes, every moan, every squirm, every arch of his hips and every gasped word, it's all exquisite. Earlier in the shower she pulled back when he was about to come, but she's not going to do that this time. Instead she speeds up her motions, just a little, hitting his prostate a little harder and flicking her tongue along the slit in the head of his cock at the same time. She's going to continue this until he completely comes apart.

She's doing a great job of it too. He forgets to even worry about how loud he is or isn't being, every movement drawing short rapid moans out of him, slightly muffled by his arms still covering his face, until he moves them back, stretching out his arms to push against the headboard.

"Jo.. Joan..." he gasps, barely able to get her name out. "Fuck..."

He gasps, and then he falls completely silent as his throat closes up, his back arching as he comes, toes curling, his whole body tensing up, shaking a little and completely lost in the sensations washing over him from inside.

He's getting louder as his orgasm approaches, and in the back of Joan's mind she's wondering how much can be heard from the living room, and if Beard and Sherlock are sitting there listening to Ted's moans. But at this moment Joan really doesn't care. This is amazing, and she wants Ted to experience every last ounce of this without fear of whether he's being heard.

She hears him swear, and she feels a sudden burst of pride, that she's driven him so completely wild that he can't even help himself. Then he's coming, his anus clenching around her finger, his cock pulsing between her lips as his come fills her mouth. She swallows, with only a little managing to dribble at the corner of her mouth. She continues to move her finger slowly and to suckle him, swallowing again as smaller amounts are released as the climax subsides.

Ted collapses but continues squirming as the climax fades, panting hard, breathless and completely overwhelmed. The fact he can't see anything only makes the physical sensations stronger.

Soon the fact that her finger is still moving around and her mouth is still on him becomes almost unbearable. "St.. stop, I can't.." he pleads with a whimper, and he's grabbing onto his pillow so hard he doesn't even think to try to push her away.

The desperation in that plea goes right to her heart, and she releases his cock from her mouth and gently removes her finger. She wipes away the bit of come on her chin with the back of her hand and reaches for a wet wipe from the nightstand to clean her finger as she watches over him with a smile, allowing him a moment to recover.

He just lies there for a moment, trying to catch his breath, feeling exhausted and boneless in the best kind of way, like he's floating in the darkness, utterly content and utterly spent.

Finally he starts regaining some sense of where he is, and the fact that Joan is no longer touching him. He feels it's safe enough now to reach down and pull the blindfold off, though he doesn't actually pull his hands apart just yet. He just wants to look at her.

And he sees her sitting there, completely naked and smiling down at him, looking so happy and loving, and his heart swells, and he blushes furiously at the same time. He feels speechless, and all he can do is smile back at her.

He blushed and smiles, and Joan sighs happily, so deeply in love with this man.

She puts the wipe aside and moves up the bed so she can cup his cheek and kiss him with a touch of desperation, pouring all her love and adoration into the kiss.

Now finally Ted pulls his hands apart from the tie, so he can wrap his arms tightly around her, holding her like he never wants to let go.

He kisses her back, so exhausted but still kissing her back with just as much adoration.

She's so good to him. The fact she wanted to make him feel good is one thing, but what's truly overwhelming is the way she made him feel safe and loved and attractive and protected and cherished all at once.

He feels so completely lost in his love for this woman that he starts tearing up, and he sniffs a bit, the slew of emotions coming over him like a wave and finally getting the better of him.

She hears that sniff, and she breaks the kiss to look at his face. She sees those tears in his eyes, and she caresses his cheek, her forehead creased with concern.

"What's wrong?" she murmurs. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he answers quietly, voice thick with emotions, and he nods and smiles to reassure her, even as he sniffs again. "Sorry." He's kind of embarrassed that he's now softly crying, which puts another layer onto how much he's feeling overwhelmed with emotion right now.

He doesn't think he can explain it, and right now words feel pretty difficult, so he just leans forward, pulling her into a hug as he buries his face in her neck, holding onto her tightly.

She wraps arms around him and holds him tightly, her heart aching for him. She knows he's struggling with so much right now, more than he's verbalized to her. She wishes she could make everything better, but she knows the best thing to do is to be here, holding him.

"It's okay," she murmurs, gently stroking his hair. "I've got you."

It's not even necessarily a bad cry. Like when you cry at a wedding. He doesn't feel sad, not really. There's just so much swirling around inside him, both good and bad, though the good is at the forefront.

But even so, he deeply appreciates her holding him and comforting him. He really does feel so safe with her.

As he starts calming down a bit, he pulls back and gives her a smile, reaching up to wipe at his face. "Can we just cuddle for a while?" he asks quietly.

"Of course," she answers, giving him a gentle smile in return, although there's still concern in her expression. "Do you want to get under the covers? We might be more comfortable that way."

"Yeah," Ted agrees, nodding, and gets up so they can crawl under the covers. Once they lie down together, rather than cuddling up like the normally do, Ted lies down with his head resting on Joan's chest, wordlessly seeking comfort from her. She's done nothing but make him feel safe since they entered the room, so he feels comfortable enough doing so.

Joan wraps.her arms around him, gently rubbing his shoulder to soothe him. She's concerned and wishes he'd tell her what he's feeling, but she knows he'll talk if and when he wants to. For the moment she'll be his rock, something steady he can cling to so the flood of emotions can't sweep him away.

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