For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[formersurgeon]

She enthusiastically gives Keeley a high five, and blows some Marilyn Monroe-style kisses to a few of the players who are still hooting at her. They cheer in response. She sits next to Ted and beams at him, having to keep herself from kissing him. She wants to, so much, but he's been trying so hard to keep the extent of their relationship a secret and she doesn't want to ruin it.

"The crowd definitely helped," she responds. "Especially you."

[theodorelasso]

Ted looks so pleased to hear that he helped her feel comfortable while performing. That's basically his whole ambition in life - encouraging and helping people be their best. And when he gets to do that for someone he really cares about, it's even better.

"I'm glad," he answers, though he probably wouldn't have needed to say anything. He just looks happily at her, until he has to look away and focus on the next performer, just so he won't give in and just kiss her.

"Want another drink?" he offers after a moment, to do something with himself. He leans forward a bit to look past Joan as well. "Keeley? Roy? Drinks?"

[formersurgeon]

They look happily at each other, and Joan is so close to just leaning in and kissing him that she winds up looking away at the same time, just to keep from giving in. She's a little out of breath, her heart fluttering, her cheeks flushed. Good thing the lighting is dim and people are focused on the stage.

When he offers to get drinks she smiles and nods. "That would be great." It would give both of them a moment to catch their breath, steel their resolve.

[theodorelasso]

Ted gets drink orders from Roy and Keeley as well, and heads off to the bar to order.

He does not expect to be joined there by Sassy, though at least he's less awkward about it now. They make some casual banter - she is still a very funny lady, and very easy to talk to.

At least until she casually put a hand on his arm and asks him if he's seeing anyone. He flounders for a moment before telling her that no, he isn't. Then immediately after, he thinks he probably should've said that he was, just not that it was Joan.

She leans in and whispers something in his ear, which makes him blush and flounder even more. Thankfully then the bartender hands him four drinks, and Ted can excuse himself to bring them back to the group.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is cheering and grooving on the next person's rendition of "Don't Stop Believing" when she glances over at the bar in time to see Sassy whispering into Ted's ear, and Ted's awkward reaction. What is she saying to him? What is he saying to her? If she had to guess she'd say the other woman is proposing an encore to the one night stand. And Ted wouldn't say yes, would he? Of course not...but he'd want to be polite, and he wouldn't want to let on that he's seeing Joan, so he might say something non-committal, that won't make it clear that he's not interested in a second go around.

"You all right?"

Keeley's voice breaks Joan out of her reverie, and she realizes she's been sitting there staring. "Yeah. I just...thought I saw someone I knew. It's not him."

"Oh, I hate when that happens," Keeley says sympathetically. "Have I seen this bloke before? Has he seen my tits?"

Joan laughs, grateful for Keeley being Keeley. When Ted returns, Joan takes her drink and pointedly glances toward the bar, then looks back at him and raises her eyebrows.

[theodorelasso]

Ted wishes desperately he could actually have a spoken conversation about this, but as it is, he ends up giving Joan an expression and gesture that's meant to mean something like 'Yeah, I know, don't worry about it'. It's hard to really convey much more than that. And Ted is definitely kind of uncomfortable, but trying not to let anyone else notice that.

[formersurgeon]

It's possible that Ted's discomfort is getting past other people, but Joan definitely notices. Once he's sitting beside her again Joan leans toward him, just a little, pressing her shoulder to his for just a moment.

The guy singing Journey finishes and Joan joins in with the crowd, clapping and cheering.

[theodorelasso]

Ted's applauding and whistling a bit, but it's definitely a little bit muted compared to earlier. He likes Sassy a lot, not romantically but just as a person, so he doesn't like misleading her. And he just really wishes he could talk about this with Joan. And touch her without it being a secret thing, even as he finds her small gesture reassuring.

"You wanna get some air?" he asks her when it's a bit more quiet in between songs.

[formersurgeon]

She can tell all this is bothering him, and she's wondering what they can do to make this better. She doesn't want him to be sad. So when he asks if she wants to get some air she immediately answers in the affirmative. She tells Keeley she'll be right back, and stands, moving to the side of the room and waiting for Ted to join her.

[theodorelasso]

Ted takes a solid drink of the Jack Daniels he ordered for himself, and sets it down before heading over himself. Once he gets outside he takes a nice deep breath of fresh air.

Then he turns to her, and he looks around to make sure no one they know is outside. And then he leans down and gives her a kiss, because he just can't help himself.

[formersurgeon]

Getting some fresh air isn't just a euphemism...it actually is really nice to get a breath of the cooler outside air, and to have the roar of the crowd be barely audible behind the door. But the best thing is definitely being alone at last with Ted and not having to keep herself from touching him, or kissing him.

When he kisses her she sighs against his lips in pleasured relief and wraps her arms around him, holding him tight, kissing him back. When the kiss ends she stays close, arms still around his neck.

"This is hard," she murmurs.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods in definite agreement at that. He does at least feel immediately better, getting to hold her.

"Yeah, I'm not very good at this sneaking around," he admits sheepishly. Ted doesn't think he could ever cheat on someone from an emotional or moral standpoint, but he also definitely couldn't do it just from the sneakiness and lying that would be involved either.

[formersurgeon]

She feels immediately better, too. She shifts her arms so that they're around his waist instead of his neck, and lays her head against his shoulder.

"I'm not sure I want to keep sneaking around," she says.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles. "Well, I just told Sassy that I wasn't seeing anyone, so do you think it'll be awkward if we walk inside holding hands?" he asks jokingly, giving a little chuckle.

Awkwardness or not, he'd actually prefer that. He'll just tell her the truth that they were trying to keep it secret, and she'll understand. Then at least he doesn't have to fend off advances.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles. That's how that went. No wonder he was so uncomfortable. Lying has to be some serious cognitive dissonance for Ted. "It would definitely be awkward," she agrees.

She lifts her head and kisses him again, then pulls back to meet his eyes.

"I want to be with you," she says softly. "Officially. Publicly. Let's do it. Let's be awkward."

[theodorelasso]

Ted is perfectly capable of lying when he needs to. And there's a pretty simple rule for it too: it's not really lying if they don't deserve to know. Lying to Rupert about talking to Rebecca? Easy enough. But lying to Sassy about not seeing anyone... First of all, he trusts her discretion enough that she wouldn't say anything. Second, he feels like he's leading her on or something, even if he isn't really.

When Joan says she wants to be with him, his heart swells. Not just because it's a relief, but... It just feels so good to hear her say that.

"Let's be awkward," he agrees with a laugh. "Although... Let me tell her first, I feel like she deserves to be told." Since he did just lie to her, he doesn't actually want her finding out by watching them.

[formersurgeon]

Her heart swells as he agrees, and her happiness is clear on her face. It's been a long time since she's felt like this, this certain that she wants to be with someone for the long term...or as long term as they can manage. There are still questions about how this can jive with her life in New York. But for the moment she's not even thinking about that. She's just thinking about wanting to be with this sweet man, and him wanting to be with her, too.

"Okay," she agrees. "We can hold off on the public display of affection for a little longer."

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah, I think we can manage," he answers with a chuckle.

And then he has an idea, which he is aware is extremely cheesy, and... He kind of wants to surprise her with it, but he's not entirely sure if she would be okay with it, so he's going to ask first, since he doesn't want to embarrass her.

"Would you mind if I announced it with a song?"

[formersurgeon]

The idea surprises her, although she realizes it really shouldn't. It's exactly the sort of thing Ted would do. And Joan tends to be more private, but in this case...in this case she wants to let Ted be Ted. It feels so good to be the object of his enthusiasm.

"I would like that," she says, smiling, eyes on his.

[theodorelasso]

Pretty much everyone who's at this gathering are going to find out anyway, so might as well make it romantic. Just as long as no one puts it on youtube or anything like that.

"Alright, second question. How do you feel about Elvis? Or Elton John?" he asks with a chuckle. If he's gonna be cheesy, he might as well lean into it.

[formersurgeon]

She laughs at that, blushing a little, imagining what songs he must have in mind. This is going to be so cheesy. And she's going to enjoy every minute of it.

"Can't go wrong with Elvis," she says, eyes shining.

[theodorelasso]

"That's why he's the King, right?" he agrees with a grin, and leans in for a quick kiss. "Alright, come on, let's go back inside," he adds, reluctantly letting go of her.

And when he turns around to head inside, Roy is standing there looking at them, with raised eyebrows and what might even pass for an amused expression.

Ted just smiles sheepishly and presses a finger to his lips at Roy, who nods.

[formersurgeon]

Of all the people to catch them, Roy is probably the best, being as he's the one least likely to immediately tell everyone.

Joan lets Ted go in first, and pauses before following him so they're not technically together. She turns to Toy and smiles.

"Thank you," she says softly, then heads in. She goes to the couch and sits down next to Keeley, who's busy cheering the current lady on stage.

[theodorelasso]

Ted pops by the karaoke list first of all, to sign himself up. It's a pretty short wait, probably people have been going up somewhat impulsively.

It's thankfully easy to track down Sassy and pull her aside so they can talk quickly. He apologises for not being honest earlier, and explains that he's dating Joan, but that they've wanted to keep it quiet.

Of course, at first she's surprised (and maybe disappointed?), but she graciously moves past it almost immediately, even giving him a hug as she congratulates him. Ted grins happily and relieved as she pulls back, and she even seems to make a conscious choice to let go of him and remain a respectful distance as he thanks her for her understanding.

[formersurgeon]

As Joan gets back into clapping and cheering, she sneaks glances at Ted. She sees him talking to Sassy, his expression open and respectfully apologetic. The next time she glances over, Sassy is hugging him. Joan smiles, warmed by how Ted can address difficult situations with love and kindness.

"Where's Ted?" Keeley asks when the song is over, looking around.

"There was someone he wanted to talk to," Joan says. "He'll be back soon."

She glances over again and meets eyes with Sassy. She smiles and raises her drink to toast Joan. Joan returns the gesture.