For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

Ted opens his eyes in surprise at Joan straddling him, remembers he can't see anything, and then closes his eyes again.

"Alright," he answers, lifting his hands slightly in front of him, smiling nervously. But a good kind of nervous. "I haven't, uh, done anything like this before. I mean, I want to, it's just, you know, unfamiliar territory," he says quietly, maybe nervously babbling a little bit.

[formersurgeon]

She can hear the nervousness in his voice, so she puts the tie aside and takes his hands, squeezing them gently, and lifts one to press a loving kiss into his palm.

"I'm going to take care of you," she says softly. "If at any time you want to stop, say the word and we'll stop. Okay?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods, smiling at the way she kisses his hand, and he sighs happily. "Okay," he agrees softly.

He's not scared, and he can't really imagine wanting to stop - though even so it's reassuring to hear her say that they can. He just... wants to be doing something, and so it's hard to stop overthinking when he's supposed to just lie here.

But he also knows that's exactly the point, that she's trying to get him to just relax and enjoy himself, without worrying about anything, or feeling like he has to do something. So he takes a breath and he tries to just relax, and to let her take care of him.

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles and kisses his palm again, gentle and sweet. Then she guides his hands together, picks up the tie, and wraps it around his wrists, just tight enough where it won't fall off. She secures it with a half-hitch, again just to keep it from falling off. If Ted were to pull even a little, the hitch would unravel immediately.

Joan puts her hands around his bound hands, brushes a kiss against his knuckles, then guides his hands up to rest above his head.

[theodorelasso]

Ted's finding this a lot more arousing than he would've expected. He likes the feeling of the fabric around his wrists. He lets his arms relax above his head, smiling.

She hasn't even touched him anywhere suggestive, and yet if she were to sit back far enough, she'd definitely notice a bit of an erection inside his underwear.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is glad to see that smile. She leans down to press her lips to his, a gentle lingering kiss, then sits up.

"Stay there," she says, her tone a touch playful. She climbs off of him and carefully removes her bra, her leggings and her underwear. Then she turns to him and works on removing his underwear, carefully guiding it past Ted's growing erection and working it down the cast and off.

[theodorelasso]

Ted kisses her back, arching his neck a little to meet her.

He lies there obediently when she tells him to, listening intently. It's fun, trying to guess what she's doing. He can hear her getting undressed, the sound of fabric against skin, and feel the bed shifting.

When he feels her hands against his underwear, he pushes off from the bed a bit, lifting his hips to make it easier for her. He still finds himself smiling in anticipation and curiosity.

[formersurgeon]

Their clothing put aside, Joan carefully lies down on her side next to him, close enough where he can probably feel the heat from her body, yet not actually touching. She props her head up and lies still for a moment, just watching him, smiling as she allows the anticipation to build a little.

Then she begins to touch him, with just her fingertips. Ghost touches over his lips, brushing along both cheeks, caressing the edge of his earlobe, her fingers running lightly down his vulnerable throat, then along his collarbone. She's taking her time, utterly unhurried.

[theodorelasso]

As he feels the bed shift and he can feel how she's close, he wants to shift over to cuddle her or something, but he resists the temptation. She told him to stay, so he's going to.

He feels like she's watching him, and he smiles a bit, maybe a little nervously. Or perhaps excited, quietly so.

And then she starts touching him, and he can feel himself blushing. He feels exposed and vulnerable, and more than a little self-conscious, but also entirely safe and loved. He wants to say something, but he bites his lip instead, to make sure he stays quiet.

[formersurgeon]

That blush is so lovely, and Joan's smile warms. He's clearly feeling vulnerable, and yet he is remaining still, giving himself to her in such a simple yet profound display of trust. She sees him bite his lip, doubtless holding back words. She considers allowing him to speak, but decides against it. There's nothing he needs to say, nothing he needs to do.

She trails her fingertips down to brush against his right nipple. As her fingertips caress the nub, she leans in to whisper, her breath caressing his ear.

"You're so beautiful."

[theodorelasso]

Ted lets out a shaky breath as she compliments him, something between a soft laugh and a sigh. He's definitely blushing now. He's still not used to being described as beautiful, and it's something he finds hard to believe, at least that particular adjective. So her saying it and so obviously meaning definitely makes him feel some stuff, and it blends perfectly with the arousal of her playing with his nipple.

He doesn't say anything, not sure what to say. He just tilts his head slightly in her direction, almost subconsciously, like he's seeking her out, eager to be closer to her. But not lifting his head or even moving more than a tiny bit. It's difficult to truly relax when he feels so much.

[formersurgeon]

He's so sweet when she compliments him, and it makes her heart swell with fondness, loving him so dearly. She sees him tilt his head toward her, just a little, and decides that, while she wants him to relax and let her take care of him, she also doesn't want to deny him the contact he's clearly yearning for. So she leans in to brush her lips against his, her fingers brushing over his chest to play against his other nipple.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles against her lips and arches his head up a little to kiss her. Just softly, slowly, matching her pace, enjoying the closeness and giving a happy little hum. Even if he tries to keep in mind that he's not supposed to be focused on her pleasure, it helps to be able to do something, and to show that he's appreciating it.

And just like he takes joy in giving her pleasure, he has to trust that she does the same, and that even just by enjoying himself, he's making her happy.

[formersurgeon]

She hums happily in response, and kisses him back, soft and slow. He's clearly enjoying the kiss, and it's a nice way for him to express his enjoyment and appreciation, so she figures she'll keep it up.

As they kiss, Joan slides her hand slowly down his abdomen...and skirts around his erection to caress his thigh.

[theodorelasso]

Ted sighs into the kiss, moving his leg a bit towards her, to make it easier for her to reach his thigh and open himself up to her. When her hand slides along the inside of his thigh, he even shivers a tiny bit, clearly enjoying the touch.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles as he moves his leg, offering himself to her, to her touch. She trails her fingertips slowly up the inside of his thigh, and then carefully and lightly brushes her fingertips against his anus, paying attention to how he reacts.

[theodorelasso]

He gasps softly as her fingertips end up definitely a different place than he was expecting, and he instinctively clenches for a second. But he doesn't stay that way, instead relaxing again and moving his other leg up, spreading his thighs. He's blushing so much the heat is practically radiating off his cheeks, and he's nervous and shy, but also excited and turned on. At the moment, not being able to see her actually helps with the embarrassment, letting himself open to her touch without worry.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is a little surprised by how positive his reaction is. She was originally going to just brush against it to give him a taste of the sensation, but when he spreads his thighs like that it's clear he wants more. She wonders if he's ever done this before, or if this is yet another new experience she's giving him.

She breaks the kiss so she can reach over to the nightstand to retrieve a bottle of lube from the stock Sherlock so thoughtfully left for them. She takes a moment to put some on her fingertips, then returns to her position. She kisses him again, giving him a minute to relax back into the moment before touching him again, gently spreading the lube over his opening.

[theodorelasso]

Ted kisses her back gladly, though when he feels the slightly cold wetness of her fingertips, he actually gets distracted enough that he forgets to return the kiss.

He has definitely not done this before. Not with another person, anyhow. There was some experimentation in private, in his younger days, but that's a long time ago now. And he might have trouble admitting it, or requesting anything like this.

But now that it's happening, he's reeling a little bit, feeling a slightly overwhelming mix of embarrassment and excitement and arousal, and making an effort to let himself show that he wants it, arching his hips a little to gently push against her hand.

[formersurgeon]

She's watching him carefully, staying tuned into his movements and his sounds. Experimenting like this can be all kinds of overwhelming, and the last thing Joan wants is to push him too far. So when he arches his hips and pushes against her hand she smiles, glad that he's able to signal so clearly that he wants this.

She stays with her lips close to his, so close he can doubtless feel her breath, so that she's right there if he wants to kiss her. She gently strokes his anus with her fingers, just to get him a little more acclimated to the sensation.

Then, very carefully and very slowly, she begins to slide one finger inside.

[theodorelasso]

She's being so gentle and sweet and careful, making sure Ted knows he's in safe hands, making sure she doesn't do anything unexpected too fast. And Ted is making an effort to relax, to lean into it, to enjoy it and show that he's enjoying it.

He's definitely enjoying it.

When she starts pushing inside him, he automatically clenches, making himself momentarily uncomfortable before he remembers to push against her. He's glad he's tried this on his own, no matter how long ago, because it feels counterintuitive to push against her to make himself relax and open up, yet he thankfully knows to do it.

He bites his lip and pulls his hands down a bit, resting against the top of his head, and he nods to encourage her to keep going.

[formersurgeon]

Joan pauses as he clenches, waiting for him to relax. She's ready to suggest he push against her when he does so on his own. It makes Joan wonder if he has actually done this before...but she doesn't think so. Not with someone else at least. Maybe he's experimented before, or maybe he's just figured it out here and now. Regardless, the muscles around her finger relax.

He nods, and she nods back, even though he can't see her. She kisses him gently, then lifts her lips from his. "I've got you," she whispers, then continues pushing inside, slow and careful. She slides her finger as far in as the second knuckle, then begins to stroke him inside, feeling for his prostate.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles briefly at her reassurance, breathing a little heavily, partly just from the excitement and the nervousness.

He focuses on relaxing and just experiencing the sensation. And then her finger pushes against his prostate, and his mouth falls open in a quiet gasp.

That feels real good, in a way he's not sure he's experienced before. "Oh.. Oh boy.." he says, and then lets out a small breathless laugh, feeling silly and embarrassed and happy and grateful and excited all at once.

[formersurgeon]

She feels the firm bump, like the tip of a nose, and Ted's reaction to the touch confirms she's found what she's looking for. She smiles wide, laughing a little along with him, so happy to see him enjoying this so much. She feels privileged to be able to make him feel this good, to be opening this door for him, giving him this experience.

She crooks her finger slightly, and begins stroking his prostate. "You like this?" she whispers.

[theodorelasso]

Ted moans softly, shakily, as she begins stroking, and he lifts his hips a little to meet her hand. He swallows thickly and nods at her question. "Yeah.." he whispers back, licking his lips. "Yeah, I do.."

She did want to find out what drove Ted wild, the way it does when he pinches her nipples. She hasn't even touched his erection (which is definitely aching to be touched), and he's already squirming a bit.