For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

Sherlock is prickly and hard to get along with, but he truly hates it when people or creatures are exploited, especially when they're physically harmed.

"I will, but you can thank him yourself the next time you come to the brownstone, if you like." Sherlock is still wary of Ted, the same way he's wary of anyone who gets close to Joan, but even he has begun to grudgingly accept that Ted's friendliness and optimism are not subterfuge nor stupidity, and that Joan is truly happy with him in a way that she has not been happy in a long time.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods, and he definitely plans to. He just assumes Joan will see him first. Presumably she has to go back there to shower and change at some point, maybe get some sleep in an actual bed of her own. He loves the company, but he doesn't need constant supervision, thankfully. Besides, he assumes he'll get some other visitors too who can keep him company.

"Alright, I think I'm gonna try the sleep thing again," he says, actually yawning a little. Hopefully this time he'll be out longer, especially since this time the painkillers won't run out.

[formersurgeon]

Joan will definitely want to go home at least for a little bit in the morning to shower and change. Hopefully someone else will be there to keep Ted company at the time. So much of what happened to him involved isolation, so at least at first Joan thinks its probably a good idea that he not be alone for too long.

"Okay," she says, and yawns as well, catching it from him. "I'll probably fall asleep for a bit too. I'm right here if you need me."

[theodorelasso]

"I know," he answers warmly, kissing her hair and then settling in to sleep. He doesn't pass out immediately this time, but it doesn't take too long before he's fast asleep. And maybe it's the combination of the painkillers and Joan's embrace, but this time there's no nightmares either.

He does wake up some hours later, while Joan is still asleep, and he thinks it's the middle of the night. And he really has to pee. He's pretty sure he can't actually manage that without waking her.

He looks over at Joan and gentle shakes her a little. "Hey..."

[formersurgeon]

Joan sleepily opens her eyes, and when she sees him she smiles. "Hey," she says softly, obviously just happy to see him in her half-asleep state.

Then she blinks as she starts to remember where they are and why, and her forehead creases in concern. "Is everything okay?"

[theodorelasso]

He loves seeing her when she's asleep or recently woken up. So peaceful, and so happy to see him.

"I need to go to the bathroom," he answers, with a smile that says he's aware this is probably the most benign emergency they've had in the past few days.

[formersurgeon]

"Oh!" She sits up and climbs out of bed. "Okay...hang on..." She goes over to the pole where the IV drip is hung, and sure enough it has wheels. "Okay," she says. "It's always awkward working with these things, because their wheels are often only slightly better than the wheels on shopping carts." She looks at him. "With your broken leg and your knees, do you think you can make it to the bathroom if I help you? Or should I call a nurse?"

[theodorelasso]

"Let's find out," he answers, already sitting up and carefully swinging his legs out of bed.

Even just bending his knees is pretty uncomfortable, and he puts a hand on a shoulder and holds onto the bed with the other as he tries to stand up. The cast on his leg actually prevents him from having much problem with the broken bone. But his knees don't seem very willing to hold him without significant discomfort, which is probably not good for him, so he sits back down.

"Nope, probably a bad idea," he answers with a mildly annoyed sigh. "Think you could get a wheelchair?" he suggests.

[formersurgeon]

"I can do that." She gives him a quick kiss. "Be right back."

Joan is only gone for a couple minutes. She returns with a wheelchair and a nurse trailing her.

"I hear you need to get out of bed to use the bathroom," the nurse says. "I can help you with that."

Joan gives him a little shrug. "She insisted." It's almost certainly a good thing to have the extra help, though, and Joan knows all too well how dangerous falls can be when people are weak or injured.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles, as he doesn't mind too much, he just doesn't want to be a bother. And yeah, he really wouldn't like to fall over, what with the state of his knees, his hips - most parts of him, honestly.

"Alright, thanks--" He pauses to read her name tag. "Rosa. Lovely name," he says, and she chuckles at him.

With their powers combined, they manage to get him into the chair, and wheel him off to the bathroom. He also gets to wear one slipper, which amuses him for some reason.

"Alright, I think I can take it from here," he says, once they've gotten him onto the toilet. Pretty smart of them to have these hospital gowns that open in the back, so he doesn't have to drop his pants in front of strangers.

[formersurgeon]

He's so good natured even in this situation, and Joan can't help but be both amused and heart-warmed by that. In most cases even the nicest of people can get a little difficult when in the hospital. Not Ted. He remains kind and considerate and personable. It's not a surprise, per se...because it's Ted...but it is remarkable.

Joan and Rosa wait outside the bathroom for him to finish.

[theodorelasso]

The act itself doesn't take too long, since he didn't eat all Sunday and most of Monday, and then nothing heavy, so his stomach is still catching up a little bit.

But he does take a moment to just... sit there in silence. It's the first time he's been alone since he was found. He's glad it's brightly lit in here, since otherwise it might be more uncomfortable. But it's good to have just a little bit of privacy.

He reaches back and unties his gown, so he can pull it off his upper body, and inspect his sides. They look pretty brutal. The bruises haven't started fading, but they are turning different colors. There's a few on his arms too, but they're not as bad. He inspects his knees, and yeah, they're pretty awful too. No wonder they hurt. He wishes he could look at himself in the mirror, but he'd have to stand up for that.

He sighs, then puts the gown back on, though he has trouble reaching back to tie it again, and he mutters a mild swear. Oh well, he'll just have to ask for help with that.

"Alright, y'all ready to cart me back?" he says, loud enough for them to hear him outside.

[formersurgeon]

She can tell he's taking longer than he probably needs to pee, and she can guess what he's doing is taking stock of his injuries. He hasn't really had a chance to do that, and Joan totally understands him wanting to see. She hopes it doesn't send him into a spiral, seeing the brutal damage done to him by a terrible man that had abused him mentally and emotionally as well.

When he calls for their help the two of them come in. Joan notices that his gown is untied, and she moves behind him to tie it up as the nurse is moving the wheelchair into position.

"Okay," the nurse says, holding onto one of Ted's arms and Joan holding onto the other. "Up we go!"

[theodorelasso]

Ted gives her a small grateful smile as she ties together his gown even without him asking, and without commenting on it.

Turns out standing up is very difficult when your knees don't work properly, so he definitely requires their help to lift him up.

"Feel like a two year old in potty training..." he comments, and there's definitely a little bit more bitterness to it than Ted usually exhibits.

It's not that he feels infantilized, he just doesn't like feeling so helpless. "Thattaway, ladies," he says, nodding towards the sink. At least with both of their help for him to put his weight on, and somewhat stiff movements, he can actually manage to walk there.

[formersurgeon]

Ah, there's a touch of bitterness. Joan doesn't fault him for it at all.

They help him hobble over to the sink, and Joan refrains from turning on the water for him, He can do it himself.

[theodorelasso]

He leans against the sink to help steady himself, but at least his knees hold him when he's just standing still with something to help for balance. And he knows that while his broken leg will take a while to heal, his knees will get better quicker.

He washes his hands, and then looks at himself in the mirror. It's definitely not a pretty sight. Both his eyes are pretty unharmed, thankfully, but between the split lip and and bruised cheekbone, a solid portion of his face is discolored and swollen. He reaches up and touches it gently, frowning.

[formersurgeon]

Crap. He hasn't seen his face before now. She can just imagine what a shock it must be.

"Hey," Joan says softly to get his attention. "It looks bad," she acknowledges, since the truth is important. "He really did a number on you. But you're okay. It's going to heal."

[theodorelasso]

Ted glances over at her, then continues looking at himself. It's not that he's never been injured before, but it's never been this bad, nor has it come with such unpleasant memories.

"I just don't want to freak out Henry..." he answers softly, definitely with worry in his voice. He still has no idea how he's going to explain this to him.

He knows Michelle must be worried sick, and he doesn't know how much Beard has told her. But she's probably held it together for Henry's sake, probably told him that daddy's in the hospital, but that he's going to be fine, and they just want to visit to help him get better. He can practically hear her voice in his head.

[formersurgeon]

So very much like Ted to worry about those he loves more than about himself, and she loves him dearly for it.

"He might be a little freaked out," she says. "It would probably be a good idea to warn Michelle that your face is bruised, so that she can tell Henry what to expect. But you're still you, regardless of what your face looks like. Henry will know that. He knows you. He loves you."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods a little, and he knows she's right. What's more important is that Ted is conscious and happy to see him, and he can reassure Henry that everything's alright. He looks at Joan in the mirror and gives her a small grateful smile.

He's really glad she doesn't sugarcoat things, or try to ignore problems. Michelle had a tendency to do that, wanting to match his optimism, and eventually growing frustrated and guilty when she couldn't. Joan is more of a realist, still reassuring and kind, partly because she does see the problems and thinks about how to address them.

"Alright, I'm ready to head back," he says, and lets Joan and Rosa help him back into the wheelchair.

[formersurgeon]

She answers that smile with a small reassuring one of her own. Joan is a realist, something that has served her well as a detective, a sober companion, and a surgeon. Ignoring problems only makes them worse in the long run. And her realism is one way in which Joan and Ted make each other better. She's able to see and face problems, while he's able to recognize the good things in situations and in people. They're quite a pair.

Joan and Rosa help him back into the wheelchair, and Joan wheels him back to the bed, pulling the IV stand along with them. Once they're there Joan and Rosa take his arms again to help him out of the wheelchair and back into bed.

[theodorelasso]

Ted thanks Rosa for her help once he's all settled. He's not that tired anymore, so he asks Joan to fetch him some snacks from a vending machine, so he can eat something light, and he turns on the television.

And then they just sit there for the rest of the night, cuddled up in bed and watching Antiques Roadshow. Sure, it might be a hospital bed, but as far as nights go, it could be a lot worse.

When it's morning and people are starting to bustle around, Beard comes by before work, with some clothes for Ted so he can feel at least slightly more presentable before Michelle and Henry arrives. And so he can make sure to cover up his knees and his arms properly as well. There's not much that can be done about the face.

Keeley also comes to visit, and Rebecca's clearly warned her about Ted's state, because she doesn't show any shock at all at seeing him, just bringing her encouraging and lovely self to cheer him up. She brought balloons and flowers and a homemade card and everything, and Ted deeply appreciates it.

[formersurgeon]

It's a nice way to spend the rest of the night, cuddling and watching gentle TV while snacking on hospital vending machine fare. It's surprisingly normal for them, like they could be on the couch in Ted's apartment and be doing the same thing. And that's good...it will help Ted recover to have things be as normal as possible, so that the memory of what happened to him has a chance to fade.

In the morning Joan helps Ted into the clothes Beard brought for him. When Keeley comes Joan asks her if she can stay with Ted for a little while so Joan can go home and freshen up. Keeley gives an enthusiastic yes, absolutely insisting that Joan take as much time as she needs.

She gives Ted a kiss and tells him she'll be back in a little bit, then leaves the hospital. It feels weird to step out into the sun and into London, where life is going on as if nothing happened. She flags down a cab and takes it to 221B. She wants to convey Ted's thanks to Sherlock, but the detective isn't home. Maybe he's still at the station questioning Turner Chapman.

She takes a shower and changes her clothes, and feels a hundred times better, as if the trauma of the day before had washed away with the hot water. She got another cab, heading back to the hospital, already missing Ted and eager to get back to him.

[theodorelasso]

Beard texts him updates about Michelle and Henry's flight, so Ted knows when it's safe to call them. He does let her know that his face is bruised, and finds out how much Beard had told her. He's just said that Ted was attacked by someone, and Ted agrees that it might be best to leave it at that for now, until he can have a proper conversation about it later.

Ted's still really worried about Henry seeing him, but once that kid walks in the door, the relief and happiness at seeing him is so worth it.

Henry is definitely a little bit spooked at first, but as soon as hugs are had and Ted shows that he's still his enthusiastic loving self, it seems to fade. Henry gets to sit on the bed, as long as he's very careful about Ted's sides, and the kid is extraordinarily gentle and sweet and cautious.

Michelle is more worried, but she slowly relaxes once she sees that he's going to be fine. She makes a valiant effort not to cry in front of Henry, at seeing Ted so beat up, while she sits in the chair next to the bed.

They're happy to see Keeley too, who they met on their last visit, though she bows out right as Joan returns to the hospital.

[formersurgeon]

Joan sees Keeley heading out as she enters, and the woman tells her Michelle and Henry are with Ted. Joan thanks her, for keeping Ted company and for letting her know his family is there. As Joan heads toward Ted's room, she tries to think of the best way to introduce herself to Ted's ex and their child. It's awkward and certainly not the circumstances in which she'd want to meet them, but things were the way they were.

When she reaches the room she halts outside the open door. Ted is there with Michelle and Henry. They're all laughing. Ted looks so happy. He looks at Michelle, and Joan can see the love he has for her. He loves her. She knew that, but seeing it...

No wonder he's never told Joan he loves her.

Joan takes a step back. She shouldn't interrupt this time he has with his family. He loves them. He should be with them.

Her phone buzzes. She fishes it out of her pocket and sees a message from Sherlock.

T.C. WS A PAWN

It's like a punch in the gut, and she staggers back. She had convinced herself that Chapman had just been a crazy football fan, nothing more. But she was wrong. He was used as a weapon to hurt, hell, to kill Ted.

She looks up at him, at how beat up he is, and sees very clearly how he looked in that basement, chained and beaten and near death.

Because of her. All because of her. Because he was close to her and Joan and Sherlock had gotten too close to Moriarty and she sent someone after Ted to take someone Joan loves...

She turns and hurries down the hall, toward the exit, her head down, her eyes brimming with tears, holding it together until she could flag a cab, get in, and give the cabbie an address.

Then she breaks down and sobs there in the back of the cab.