For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

She smiles back and squeezes his hand. That might have been the only full-blown panic attack, but he had definitely started to panic when he was being questioned by the police. This situation upsets him greatly, and she wants him to know she's here for him.

[theodorelasso]

He definitely won't deny it upsets him, but he can keep it together and get a nice long hug from Joan afterwards. Besides, there's stuff to do, and having a purpose makes things a little bit easier.

He's about to say something else, but then the doorbell rings, and Ted smiles at Joan and gets to his feet, grabbing his crutches so he can open the door.

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles back, excited, and turns in her chair so that she can watch him heading toward the door. Sherlock enters carrying a tray with a french press, a couple mugs, and a plate of biscuits. He sets it down on the table and straightens to look toward the door as well.

[theodorelasso]

Ted opens the door and greets Beard, who's his usual calm self, and shows him inside. Beard gives a polite nod at both Joan and Sherlock, and Ted ushers him to go sit down and have some coffee.

Beard doesn't ask how Joan is doing, figuring she'll have more than enough of that particular question.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods back, but Joan positively beams at Beard. She's fond of the taciturn man. "Hey! It's so good to see you! How are you doing?"

[theodorelasso]

"I'm doing alright, all things considered," he answers with a nod. "You look like you could say the same," he observes. Which is a compliment, really. She looks like she's doing well. The last time he saw her, she was in the hospital and it was apparently still pretty touch-and-go.

[formersurgeon]

"Can't complain," she says with a smile, totally getting the compliment. As understated as her words are, her smile tells him that things are actually pretty good right now. He's here in part to make sure she's okay, but she's definitely focusing on this also being an opportunity to see someone she's come to consider a good friend.

"How's the team?"

[theodorelasso]

Beard gestures with a wobbly hand, indicating the answer is so-so. "Personally? I think they're alright. Professionally? They're still struggling a bit."

It doesn't exactly come as a surprise to Ted, but it is sad. Then again, would it be better if they suddenly started kicking ass while he was gone?

[formersurgeon]

"I'm sorry to hear that," Joan says. "It must be hard with everything going on. Not having Ted, then finding out the man they used to play for tried to have.him killed. I mean, if there's anything that can put a damper on a team's morale, that would be up there."

Sherlock looks at Ted. "Whenever you are ready to go," he says.

[theodorelasso]

"Well, it's actually built up a rather protective streak," Beard answers with a nod. "They're gonna be alright once it settles." Having only two coaches isn't necessarily helping. And Ted's not there to be motivational.

"Yeah, alright," Ted answers Sherlock, pulling on the sweater he's been carrying over his shoulder. "Alright, I'll see y'all later," he says, going over to Joan to give her a goodbye kiss before leaving with Sherlock.

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles as Ted kisses her, touching his cheek gently, then catching his hand as he pulls back, giving it a squeeze before letting go.

Sherlock heads out as they're saying their goodbyes, skipping the cuteness in order to flag down a cab.

[theodorelasso]

Beard is actually smiling a bit as he watches them - it's good to see Ted be happy. He's watched Ted for years having problems with Michelle, culminating in the divorce, and it makes him sad because Ted deserves to be happy.

Ted smiles as Joan's touches of affection. He appreciates her making sure he knows she's there for him.

"Alright, gang, peace out," he says, heading for the door. "Stay out of trouble."

[formersurgeon]

"No ragers," Joan answers playfully. She smiles at him all the way out of the apartment, and when the door closes behind him she sighs a little and turns her smile to Beard.

"He's doing okay," she says, figuring Beard would want to know.

[theodorelasso]

Beard nods in approval. No small thanks to Joan, he's sure. Everyone's been very supportive of Ted, but he doesn't always show when he's hurting, so it's good to know he has someone close enough to him that it would be difficult to hide.

"What about you?" he asks. "If you want to complain Now they're not here to fuss over you."

He knows Ted's positivity can make if difficult to vent. And heck, she might even have frustrations about the two of them that she wants to get off her chest. Beard certainly won't tell.

[formersurgeon]

She laughs a little and shakes her head. "Still can't complain," she says with a smile. "I've been so lucky to have Ted and Sherlock here. They've done pretty much the exact right amount of fussing. The two of them have also gotten pretty close, which is near miraculous with Sherlock."

[theodorelasso]

"Good," he answers, pouring them both some coffee. And of course Ted has befriended Sherlock. He befriends everyone. It's just his way. "I'm sure caring for someone has helped him too. Lets him feel useful and avoid focusing on his own problems."

[formersurgeon]

It's true, it's practically Ted's superpower, and in this case it's amazing to behold.

"Mmm. He does that a lot, doesn't he?" she says quietly, watching Beard pour the coffee.

[theodorelasso]

"You've noticed that, have you?" Beard asks, giving her a wry smile. He holds stuff in so much it's a wonder he hasn't imploded.

He sets her coffee cup close to Joan, and picks up his own, taking a careful sip.

[formersurgeon]

"Every once in a while," she says dryly with an answering wry smile, reaching for her cup and carefully wrapping her hands around it to hold it steady. "There's a lot he keeps hidden," she says, lifting the cup to her lips. "I know what happened to his father," she say softly, and takes a careful sip of coffee.

[theodorelasso]

Beard raises his eyebrows. "Then you know more than me," he says. He doesn't ask, though. If she wants to tell him, he supposes that's her prerogative, but if Ted hasn't said, then Ted probably doesn't want Beard to know. Or, he simply doesn't want to talk about, which is definitely true in either case.

[formersurgeon]

That surprises her. A lot. And it shows on her face. She knows Ted and Beard have been working together for a really long time, and for Ted to have never mentioned it to Beard...

"I don't think it's so much that he wants to keep it a secret as he doesn't want to deal with it at all," she says. "Ted didn't tell me. He doesn't know I know. And I'm keeping it that way, until he brings it up himself. I'll let you decide if you want to know. I researched it so that I know what's going on and can help if something happens to trigger the memories, but you don't have to know if you don't want to, or you feel uncomfortable knowing without him knowing you know."

[theodorelasso]

Beard nods in response to her deciding not to tell him she knows. Makes sense, unless it becomes important.

He shrugs in response to whether he himself should know though. "I don't mind," he answers. He doesn't mind knowing, he just doesn't need to. He can keep secrets, that's not a problem for him.

"I know something bad happened." Which is an understatement, really. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks. Because that's honestly more of a deciding factor here.

[formersurgeon]

That's...actually a really good question. Knowing what happened (and in great detail, having read the police report) isn't easy. She's carrying that knowledge inside her, unable to talk to Ted about it. Sherlock knows, and that helps, but as close as he's gotten to Ted recently, he's still not close enough for this secret to weigh on him in quite the same way.

She thinks about confidentiality, how it's so important for a doctor, a sober companion, a detective. But this...this wasn't told to her in confidence. And it's public information.

Still, this isn't really about her, is it? This is about Ted. Her own wants...needs...don't really matter here.

"More than anything I worry about him," she says.

[theodorelasso]

Beard can tell she's conflicted between wanting to discuss it (she wouldn't have brought it up otherwise), and respecting Ted's privacy. He appreciates her for that, even if it might not be what's best for her.

"I think everyone who knows him sufficiently well does that," he answers lightly. Now more than ever, obviously. Ted is strong, but there's more than one way he doesn't stand up for himself and his own needs. "Do you think it's relevant to what's going on now?" Because obviously, this was three decades ago. It's not necessarily urgent.

[formersurgeon]

"I do," she answers quietly. "He's around a lot of violent deaths right now. He tried to connect with the man who attacked him, and now he's dead and Ted will never get through to him. A lot of what's happening also makes him feel powerless. And, last but nor least, he's so far from Henry, and he's struggling with that."