For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

Sherlock is a little concerned about how Ted will react to the experience at the morgue. The man is soft-hearted and not hardened like him and Joan are. He's resolved to protecting him as much as he can.

"I forgot about that," Joan says, lifting her head as well. "I think having a shower now would be good. Better to receive visitors when I'm not so grimy."

[theodorelasso]

Ted may be soft-hearted, but at least he's still fairly resilient. Things might hurt, but that doesn't mean they'll break him.

"You're not grimy," Ted answers with amusement. "But sure, let's go. Chair this time?"

[formersurgeon]

"Okay," she concedes with a sigh and a smile. "I'll take the chair this time."

Not that she needs it. She'll just do it to make him happy. That's her story and she's sticking to it.

[theodorelasso]

He can live with that just fine. He's sure she'd get there well enough, but what's the point of exhausting herself at the start of the day?

"Sherlock?" he requests, to get him to fetch the chair. This time when Ted gets to his feet, he's the one offering Joan his hands to help her into the chair.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock goes to get the chair. When Ted helps Joan to her feet, she slides her arms around him and kisses him, body pressed gently against his, taking advantage of a moment with Sherlock out of the room.

[theodorelasso]

He doesn't expect it and that just makes it more wonderful. He puts a hand on her cheek, looking down at her with so much love in his eyes. She just makes everything in his life better.

Then of course Sherlock comes back, and Ted helps her sit down, and then wheels them both off to the bathroom.

[formersurgeon]

She cups his cheek as well, gazing up at him, so much in love. She is so profoundly grateful to have this man in her life.

"I love you," she murmurs.

Then Sherlock is back with the chair, and Ted helps her sit and wheels them off to the bathroom. Once they're inside, she carefully pulls off her shirt and sets it aside.

[theodorelasso]

Ted undresses as well, including the finagling process of taking off his t-shirt without hurting his ribs, getting his pants over his cast, and then putting protective plastic over the cast. This all takes a lot more time when they're both having trouble dealing with clothes. But at least Joan can take off some of her clothes on her own now, so she doesn't have to just sit there and wait the entire time.

"You know, I really enjoy showers, especially with you, but the process of getting to it is pretty darn arduous right now," he comments, though he smiles cheerfully despite it.

[formersurgeon]

She hums in agreement as she carefully wriggles out of her bottoms, then out of her underwear. "It will definitely be nice when this isn't so hard," she agrees, then smiles up at him, eyes sparkling. "I much prefer being able to get naked quickly so we can get on to the good stuff," she says playfully, referring to the shower but leaning into the double entendre.

[theodorelasso]

"Uh-huh, I bet you do," he answers with amusement, enjoying the double entendre now they're alone. Of course, you can make the undressing portion very enjoyable (and sexy) as well, but this is not really that.

He makes sure all their clothes are put aside and they're ready to go in, before he goes to help Joan to her feet, to go sit down on the stool they've got there.

[formersurgeon]

It's so nice to be able to be cute and flirty with each other without having to worry about bothering Sherlock. The three of them have gotten very close during this ordeal, and Joan is grateful for that, but it's still really nice to be alone with Ted every once in a while, to reconnect on this level.

Joan is careful as Ted helps her out of the chair and onto the stool. She's going to be happy when the stool isn't necessary as well, but for the moment she likes being able to lean back against Ted, her head resting on his belly, feeling warmed and supported.

[theodorelasso]

Honestly, when it comes to sexual innuendo, he wouldn't do it in front of Sherlock even if he was completely fine with it. Being overly affectionate, sure, but the sexy bits they can keep private regardless.

He points the shower away from them and turns it on, making sure it's nice and warmed up before he turns it back towards them. He grabs the shampoo, but before he starts washing her hair, he leans down to kiss her cheek. He loves being all gentle and intimate with her like this. Sexual innuendo or no.

[formersurgeon]

Joan sighs happily at the kiss, and reaches up to touch his cheek as she turns her head to gently brush her lips against his. She loves this as well, this tender, quiet intimacy. This life that they are building together hums with it, with this gentleness and love that underlies every interaction, from something as simple as brushing their teeth together all the way up to their sex life. It's beautiful, and Joan feels so lucky.

[theodorelasso]

It's amazing that they can be in this situation where they're both physically and emotionally beat up, and yet they can still feel so lucky in just sharing this tenderness together.

He smiles against her lips. "Love you," he murmurs, barely audible over the shower, then kisses her.

And then he has to straighten up to focus on washing her hair and all that, otherwise he thinks they'll get very distracted very quickly. Well, he will, at least.

[formersurgeon]

It's a testament to how right they are for each other. Hard times are hard, but even within those times they can find such joy together.

"Love you," she murmurs back as their lips part.

It's probably a good thing that he moves on to the practical things they have to get done, because Joan's breath is already a little heavy and her cheeks already a little flushed. It would be so easy to get distracted with wanting to lean into the physical affection. Instead she leans back against him and closes her eyes as he washes her hair, enjoying the sensation.

[theodorelasso]

At least it's easy enough to blame the breathing on the effort of getting undressed and moving around, and the flushed cheeks on the heat from the shower.

"You know, if my coaching career falls through, I could become a hairdresser," he comments playfully as he massages the shampoo into her scalp. "Not actually cutting hair, just someone who washes it. Maybe styles it, assuming people mostly want braids."

[formersurgeon]

She smiles with an amused hum. "I think you'd make a great hairdresser," she says. "You can also have great conversations with your clients, which is a vital skill for a good stylist. A hairdresser is like a psychologist with scissors."

[theodorelasso]

"Same reason I think I'd make a great bartender, yeah," Ted agrees with a warm chuckle. "Always good to know I've got stuff to fall back on."

The being a bartender joke is slightly more serious than the hairdresser one. Not that he would ever really want to give up sports, but in another universe, he could imagine himself like that.

"I'd take a good bartender over a psychologist any day."

[formersurgeon]

"Definitely something to be said for having a beer along with your session," Joan says, amused. She technically fell under the category of therapist as a sober companion, and so like most therapists had a therapist of her own. She has great respect for the profession, but the woman she was working with when she was with Sherlock wasn't exactly her favorite. She could have used a drink in those appointments.

[theodorelasso]

"Gosh, yeah, I really could've used that for couples therapy," he answers, and it's kind of said as a joke, but he very much means it. He doesn't have the best opinion of therapists, especially after that.

[formersurgeon]

She laughs a little, but it's a lot quieter and less mirthful.

"I'm sorry you had a bad experience," she says softly. "It sounds to me like things had already gone too far, which is a tough situation to be in."

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah..." Ted agrees quietly. "It was, uh.. A therapist Michelle had been seeing for a while. So I just felt like I came in there to be attacked, to hear all the things I'd been doing wrong.." he admits softly, frowning to himself as he rinses out Joan's hair.

He's already told her he spent a while thinking that he was the one making all the mistakes, that Michelle was right for him, but he was wrong for her. That therapist certainly didn't help with that.

[formersurgeon]

"It's likely Michelle was having a hard time telling you the difficult things," Joan offers softly. "And her therapist was helping to create a space where she felt able to express herself. It probably wasn't intended to be an attack, but it's completely understandable why it would feel that way."

She reaches up to find and take his hand, knowing that it's probably difficult for him to hear this.

"It isn't your fault," Joan says softly. "Like you said, you weren't right for each other. But I know it must have been painful to hear that was the case. I know you love her."

She uses the present tense because she's aware Ted still loves Michelle, and she's okay with that.

[theodorelasso]

Ted wants to argue that it takes two people to have a relationship, that it was supposed to be couples therapy, and yet he never felt like he was being listened to at all. That whatever the intention was, it didn't seem to help anything. It still kind of feels like all it did was tear down what they had, rather than find solutions.

But she's so sweet and supportive and understanding, and she's not trying to brush anything he feels aside. So he just draws a breath and sighs deeply, and tries to let all the bad mojo wash off him and down the drain.

He squeezes her hand, and then bends down to wrap his arms around her and give her a hug. He's so grateful for her.

[formersurgeon]

Joan suspects that the situation was already unsalvageable, that there was little a therapist could have done to fix things, that what Ted thought they had was already gone. He's absolutely right that the therapist should have created a space where he could be heard too...the therapist was pretty obviously already on Michelle's "side" as it were, and she probably shouldn't have been their couple's therapist for that reason. But Joan suspects a different therapist wouldn't have made much of a difference in the outcome.

Joan puts her hands on his arms and leans back into the embrace, closing her eyes. She loves him so much, and his pain makes her heart ache.