trashchildren | For Joan

Joan is glad she knows, because now Ted doesn't have to bear the distress alone. But she knows it's hard for him to talk about it, so at the question she nods.

"Of course." She leans forward to gently kiss him again. "I love you."

She knows this doesn't change how he feels about her. She knows he loves her and chooses her, regardless of who he might be attracted to.

Edited 2021-09-17 23:44 (UTC)

"You too," he whispers back.

He moves back a bit, and rather than sitting to wrap his arms around her, he lies down and rests his head in her lap, closing his eyes.

A moment of showing vulnerability and requesting comfort physically, even as emotionally or verbally it's too difficult to do so.

She shifts carefully so she can lean back against the headboard, then gently rubs his shoulder before stroking his hair. She's here for him, whatever he needs, including physical and emotional comfort. As she tenderly strokes his hair, she thinks about Sherlock. About how kind Sherlock has been to Ted, including by not outing him to Joan, even though he must know that Joan would never think any less of Ted for it. It's unusual for Sherlock to be this close to someone this fast. Of course much of it has to do with Joan herself falling in love fast and hard, and even more with Ted and Sherlock both almost losing her, then taking care of her. Still, there's clearly a connection there, a friendship, that goes beyond merely having Joan in common. She wonders if there's attraction there, at least from Ted's side. She knows that Sherlock is straight. The detective has few, if any, sexual hangups, and that includes the possibility of being gay. But there can be intimacy in a friendship without sex, as Joan and Sherlock themselves have proven. Perhaps Sherlock need not have worried about losing his friend and partner. Maybe, rather, he's gained another.

Ted meanwhile closes his eyes and tries not to think too much of anything. Just letting her stroke his hair. Trying to internalise the comfort.

He makes sure not to fall asleep there though. And to pay attention if it seems like she's about to.

It's a long while later that he finally sits up, when her petting has grown infrequent.

"Do you want to get some sleep?" he asks softly. He seems to have at least calmed down in that time.

Joan tries not to drift as she pets his hair, but she does start slowing down as her eyelids start getting heavy. It's been an active day, relatively speaking, and she's tired.

"Yeah," she answers. "That would be nice."

Ted nods and gives her a soft kiss. "Thank you," he says softly. He doesn't specify exactly what for, because really it's for everything.

She kisses him back just as softly. "Anytime," she says with a small smile. And it's true, regardless of what exactly he's thanking her for. He's the most important person in her life, and she'll do just about anything for him.

He smiles and reaches up to touch her cheek, just looking at her for a second. "Love you."

He kisses her one last time, then sits back against the pillows. "Alright, now go to sleep already, don't let me keep you," he says playfully.

She smiles as he touches her cheek, and turns her head to brush a kiss against his fingertips. "Love you too," she responds.

She just as playfully rolls her eyes at him as he tells her to go to sleep. "If you insists," she sighs, lying down and getting comfortable. She settles on her side facing him, and reaches out to take his hand.

Ted takes her hand, and with the other one he reaches down to stroke her hair gently. Eventually he'll want to grab his laptop (to make sure he also doesn't fall asleep), but while she falls asleep, he'll happily pay attention to nothing but her.

Joan squeezes his hand, then closes her eyes. The conversation definitely riled her up a bit, but Ted's hand on her hair soothes that tension, and she soon falls asleep.

It's obviously riled him up a bit too, and even after all this gentle cuddling, there's still that little pit of anxiety in his chest. But he tries to breathe deeply and not give into it.

Once Joan's breathing deepens, and she's been asleep a while (with no twitching), he carefully lets go of her and grabs his laptop to go through emails. He's still getting a lot of work updates, but he's pretty sure they've intentionally kept him out of the loop of anything related to media and how to handle PR. For which he's very grateful. At some point it gets to be enough though - he doesn't like not being able to actually be at work - and he ends up just watching silly videos while he waits for Sherlock to wake up.

Sherlock doesn't sleep, per se. Instead he lies on his back and consciously deepens his breath and slows his heartbeat. He settles at a comfortable resting rate and allows his body to relax while his mind ponders the situation: Watson's recovery, Ted's stress about Watson and about his sexual orientation, the evening with Keeley and Roy.

After a couple hours his body feels rested enough for the moment, so he slowly increases his breathing and heartrate and gets up. He goes to the doorway of the bedroom and knocks softly before entering in order to give Ted and Watson the chance to cover up if necessary.

No covering up is necessary - they didn't even get fully changed for bed. Ted's used to sleeping at least partially dressed anyway, and the past few days he hasn't gotten dressed in more than he could comfortably sleep in, beyond pulling on a sweater or hoodie. (He does kind of look forward to having a reason to get properly dressed.)

"Hey," he greets quietly when Sherlock enters, and closes his laptop and sets it aside. "You sleep alright?"

"I rested adequately," he answers softly, coming over to sit next to Ted. He looks down at the sleeping Watson. "Is she all right?"

Ted nods, looking down at Joan, who looks peaceful and beautiful. "Barely stirred," he answers. "How long does she need to be watched, or stay on those meds? Till she's up and walking properly again?" They're making it work, but it does feel strange to be watching her like a hawk, and he's sure she's looking forward to some alone time.

"I believe as of tomorrow evening we can be sufficiently certain that the medication is efficacious." He looks back up at Ted. "It's about time for her nighttime dose."

"Right," he answers, and looks down at Joan again, and starts to reach out to wake her before he stops, pausing for a second. "I, uh.." he says, looking in Sherlock's direction but not quite at him. "I told her," he says quietly. He figures Sherlock should probably know, so he doesn't feel like he has to keep secrets. Though he's sure both of them are plenty good at keeping secrets.

Sherlock nods at that. He's glad Ted told her. It's not that he has a problem keeping secrets from Watson on principle. He and Watson keep secrets from each other and lie to each other all the time, even now. But this is different. He felt very much that Watson should know, and equally strongly that he could not be the one to tell her.

"Are you all right?" he asks. He doesn't have to ask about Watson because he knows how she would react to learning that information. It's Ted he's concerned about.

"Yeah," he answers, though it's more of an automatic answer than a genuine one, and then followed by a bit of a shrug. He's not... in a state of crisis about it or anything. But it's probably gonna take some processing. He doesn't want to talk about it though. He's done more than enough talking about it today.

So instead he reaches down to stroke Joan's hair, then her shoulder, gently stirring her, waking her in the gentlest way possible.

Sherlock can tell the answer isn't genuine, but he's not going to push. As long as Ted isn't in crisis, Sherlock will let him take his time.

Joan stirs as Ted rubs her shoulder and blinks her eyes open.

"Hey...everything okay?" she says, frowning faintly.

Edited 2021-09-18 22:28 (UTC)

"Yeah, it's just time for your meds," he says softly, smiling reassuringly. Of course, now she's probably not just worrying about possible seizures, but also about how Ted's doing. "You've been sleeping like a log," he adds, so she's not worried about the first part at least.

She is concerned about him, knowing that he is at the very least unsettled by all this. But his smile is reassuring and Joan smiles back.

Sherlock rises. "I will fetch the medication and some water," he says, leaving the room.

Ted helps Joan sit up - though at this point it's more of a moral support than actual help, since she doesn't seem to need that anymore, and she wouldn't want him to help too much.

"Now Sherlock's awake I think I'll get some sleep too," he says. He's definitely looking pretty sleepy by now. A midday nap can only do so much. He got up pretty early this morning.

She can indeed sit up on her own, but she still appreciates him looking out for her. Soon enough this will all be behind them, and in the meantime it makes sense to be careful.

"Probably a good idea," she says with a smile. "It will be nice to sleep together." In the most innocent sense.

Sherlock returns with the medicine, and as he hands it to Watson the two of them make eye contact, and in that moment there's communication between them, an apology of sorts on Sherlock's part and understanding on Joan's.

Then Joan puts the pill in her mouth and swallows it with a gulp of water.

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