For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

Ted doesn't generally sleep in often, preferring to meet days head-on. But something Shaun told him the other day - when your body is healing or fighting an illness, some of the most productive things you can do is actually simply to rest. So he's been trying to take that to heart. He can tell his body isn't quite ready to get up yet.

He falls asleep easily and sleeps quietly and soundly. When consciousness finds him again, it's a lot easier to greet it, and he rolls over, stretching with a satisfied groan.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is glad that he's sleeping. She knows he need the rest to heal, and they can focus on his healing for a while.

When Ted wakes up, Joan is sitting in the chair with her laptop. She looks up as he moves and closes the laptop, giving him a smile.

"Hey! Good morning! How are you feeling?"

[theodorelasso]

He reaches out for Joan's side of the bed, momentarily confused until she speaks up. It's good to see her out of bed. He wonders if she walked herself.

"Mmm, pretty good," he answers, pushing himself up to sitting. He's in a bit of pain, since it's been a while since he took his meds, but not more than expected.

"Hungry," he adds, realising. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

[formersurgeon]

"Not yet," she says. "I've only been up for a little while. And I didn't want to wake you or Sherlock up." She definitely got into the chair by herself. She's still wearing her sleep clothes, though, so she hasn't gotten dressed by herself. Yet.

"Can you help me take a shower after breakfast?"

[theodorelasso]

He's glad Sherlock's getting some sleep too. And he's glad that Joan gets to just.. exist for a bit without having to be watched by them.

"Yeah, that sounds great," he agrees with a smile. "Want to come with me to the kitchen, or do you want to keep doing what you're doing?" he asks, gesturing at the laptop.

[formersurgeon]

"I can come with you," she says, closing the computer and putting it aside. "Help me walk there?"

It might be a bit of a stretch, but Joan is eager for a challenge right now, and trying to walk to the kitchen seems perfect.

[theodorelasso]

Ted raises his eyebrows at her. "You sure? Cause I'm going to be hopping around carefully with one crutch, since I can't catch you if I use both," he points out.

He's not entirely confident without Sherlock on the other side, so he wants to make sure she thinks she's strong enough to make it there. And is aware of the fact that he'll be of limited help. If he was alright, he would gladly piggyback her there, but...

[formersurgeon]

"Mmm. Good point. We might need to wake Sherlock up."

Sherlock might well be awake already. He usually doesn't sleep much, and it's been a couple hours. She's also fairly certain that he wouldn't mind being woken up even if he is asleep.

[theodorelasso]

"I'll go check on him, just let me go to the bathroom first," he says, swinging his legs out of bed, then wincing a little and drawing a breath through his teeth. He gingerly reaches up to touch his ribs a bit, making a face. "Wish I was getting better as quickly as you are," he comments.

[formersurgeon]

She mirrors that wince in sympathy. "I wish you were, too," she says softly. "We'll make sure you get plenty of rest, okay? Is it time for your painkillers?"

Joan is starting to shift into carer mode, and it's a relief. She might be pushing things a bit, but she thinks she's ready, and Ted needs her.

[theodorelasso]

"Past time," he answers. "Cause of, you know, everything yesterday, I didn't end up taking them till a bit later in the day. So by the time I went to bed, it was still too early to take another dose." He gives a shrug. It's not quite long enough that he's gone into full withdrawal, but he definitely doesn't have anything numbing the pain anymore.

He grabs his crutches and carefully gets to his feet. Before he heads to the bathroom, he does swing by to kiss the top of Joan's head. He'll spare her a proper kiss with his current morning breath.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles as he kisses her head, then looks up and reaches out to touch his hand, a responding tender gesture. "Love you," she says softly.

[theodorelasso]

"You too. You know, I feel like we say that a lot, and yet I never get sick of hearing it, or saying it," he says with a chuckle. "Alright, I really gotta use the john though," he adds, and hurries off towards the bathroom.

Once that's taken care of, he takes his pills, then brushes his teeth and shaves. Any further cleaning he can save for the shower. Then he goes to check on Sherlock, and wake him if he's not awake already.

[formersurgeon]

"Me neither," Joan replies with a smile. "I love saying it. And I love hearing it."

Joan has been in plenty of relationships where those words were rarely spoken, if ever. Relationships that were as reserved as the people in them. Joan is herself typically reserved. But this relationship is different. This man is different. She is so deeply in love that it can't help but bubble over into words, and Ted takes such joy in it.

When Ted enters the living room he finds Sherlock in sweatpants, barefoot and shirtless, doing push-ups.

[theodorelasso]

When Ted finds Sherlock, he stops in surprise, just watching.

...See, usually he very consciously tries to shut off the part of his brain that's attracted to men. Because it's inappropriate to look at his coworkers that way. But, either because he's had a while away from work, or because it's that early in the morning, he hasn't quite gotten there yet, and he finds himself very much enjoying the view for a moment. And curiously examining the tattoos, too.

Then he suddenly looks away, feeling guilty. He clears his throat a bit to get Sherlock's attention.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock glances up and sees Ted averting his eyes. Being seen in this manner by other men doesn't bother Sherlock at all, even though he himself is not attracted to men. Still, he knows the subject is a touchy one for Ted, so he hops up and reaches for his shirt.

"What can I do for you, Ted?" he asks as he shakes the shirt out then pulls it on.

[theodorelasso]

"I'm gonna make breakfast, and Joan would like help walking to the kitchen," he answers, looking back at Sherlock. "..I like that one, by the way," he adds, pointing to Sherlock's shoulder, meaning the tattoo. They had discussed it a little while ago.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods, agreeing to help Watson get to the kitchen, then again in recognition of the compliment. "Would you like to see it up close?" he asks. He knows the offer will likely be declined, but he wants Ted to know that his gaze doesn't bother Sherlock in the slightest.

[theodorelasso]

"Maybe later," Ted answers with a smile. He doesn't want to leave Joan waiting, and Sherlock's already put his shirt on - but he does appreciate him not making a big deal about it.

Ted's honestly not used to men knowing about his sexuality. There is a part of his brain that catastrophizes the consequences. So the fact that Sherlock intentionally tries to reassure him is comforting.

He nods towards the bedroom and leads the way there.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock is well aware of the potential dangers to Ted of making his sexuality known, from professional setbacks to violence. He would not downplay said dangers. But here, in this household and with Sherlock, he is safe to be himself.

Sherlock follows Ted into the bedroom and sees Watson sitting in the chair, which is not where he left her. Apparently she took it upon herself to get out of bed. Sherlock is both pleased that Watson is feeling better and concerned that she might be pushing herself too far.

"Need a hand, Watson?" he asks.

[theodorelasso]

Ted may come across as very open, but he's a private man in many ways. He's extremely friendly and loves sharing anecdotes, but when it comes to anything difficult, he guards himself much more carefully. There are few who actually get to see him vulnerable. But he feels a lot safer with Joan and Sherlock, and he can tell that the two of them make an effort to make him feel that way.

Ted feels much the same as Sherlock - pleased and concerned. Which is exactly why he came to find Sherlock. If she does push herself, he wants to make sure they have a safety net for her.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is starting to understand how guarded Ted actually is. The sexual preference is one thing, but the loss of his father by suicide is something that must have fundamentally shaped him...his personality, his relationships with others, how he sees the world. And Joan didn't know. It's not like she feels she doesn't really know Ted or something, but it's not lost on her that Ted knows all of her secrets, whereas Joan knows very few of his, and those she does know she either figured out or found out through Sherlock. It's not the most comfortable of positions to be in.

"Two if you can spare them," she answers Sherlock, offering him her hands. Sherlock helps her to her feet, and lets her hold onto one arm while keeping the other behind her, around her waist without touching her, there in case she falls.

Joan gives Ted a smile, and starts walking carefully out of the room.

[theodorelasso]

There's also the fact that while some of what's happened has brought Joan's secrets to light partly through necessity or for context, it's made Ted less likely to share some of his own secrets. Simply because he is already dealing with so much, so the last thing he wants to do is bring up more things that are painful.

It took a long time for him to tell Michelle, and not until he introduced her to his mom. Most people don't know. And Ted wants Joan to know his important secrets. But that doesn't mean talking about them is any easier. And this relationship is already moving faster than he could've anticipated, or maybe even that he's fully ready for. Which doesn't mean he wants to backtrack any of it. It just means there's still many feelings he need to sort out and process.


Ted return the smile, watching her. "Hey, look at that!" he says excitedly, following along after them. Even with the worry and the caution, it's great to see her on her feet again.

[formersurgeon]

It's great to be on her feet again. She's a lot steadier than she was a couple days ago when she only barely made it around the bed. She makes it into the living room before her legs start to tremble. Sherlock sees it immediately and guides her to the couch so she can sit before she falls.

She looks over at Ted, giving him a smile to let him know she's okay. "Better, right?" she says, a little out of breath but still pretty happy.

[theodorelasso]

Ted tries not to be too worried with Sherlock right there to catch her, and he's glad they stopped before it became too much.

"You can run drills with the guys in no time," he answers with a grin.