For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

"Mycroft showed up at the Brownstone," Sherlock says, "telling me he had borrowed money from Le Milieu for his restaurant, and that they had Watson, and would only release her in exchange for information being held by a Swiss banker on certain accounts. Mycroft and I did the necessary investigating and got the information. Then he tased me, rendering me unconscious, and made off with the data." The last bit is relayed with a sour expression.

Joan nods. "While I was being held captive, one of the members of Le Milieu was brought into the hideout with a gunshot wound. I told them I was a doctor, that I could save his life. They unbound me so I could help him. It was...bad." She stops herself from getting graphic. The story is already bad enough. "I told them he would die if they didn't take him to a hospital. So they shot him. Right there on the table in front of me."

[theodorelasso]

It's a grim reminder of the kinds of things they've had to deal with. The fact Mycroft tased Sherlock is definitely a surprise though.

While somewhat pained imagining them going through this, it's long enough ago that Ted can keep it together.

Though when she says they shot that man in front of her, something in Ted tightens, and so does his hand on hers. It's like he can hear the shot in his head, and he clenches his jaw a bit.

[formersurgeon]

Joan feels his hand tighten and assumes it's because of his concern for her. She squeezes his hand back.

"They took me out to the rendezvous with Mycroft," she says. "My hands were zip tied behind my back. He gave them the information they asked for. But they didn't let me go. They were going to shoot both of us, because of course they were. Then Mycroft said 'paint it black,' and every single one of the gang members was shot dead. We were surrounded by hidden MI6 snipers. It had all been set up in advance for Mycroft to double-cross Le Milieu."

"And that's how we found out my brother was an MI6 asset." Sherlock says.

[theodorelasso]

It's... a lot. He can't imagine her going through all that. And to still want to be doing what she's doing. He can't believe how strong she is.

"Okay, but..." he says, then pauses, shaking his head a little. It's a lot to process and it still doesn't answer his actual question. "So what happened a year ago?"

[formersurgeon]

"Mycroft died of an intercranial brain hemorrhage in a hospital in New Zealand," Sherlock says.

"In the wake of that incident," Joan says, "it became clear there was a mole in MI6. Mycroft discovered the identity of the mole, who made it clear that if he did anything about it, he would tell Le Milieu that Mycroft had double crossed them. They would go after Mycroft, and Sherlock and I would be in danger as well. So..."

"So he faked his death," Sherlock says.

"I was angry," Joan says. her voice paradoxically a little softer in the confession of her anger. "So was Sherlock. We could have figured something out. Something that didn't force Mycroft into hiding. But he didn't wait for us to find a solution. He did what he thought he had to do to protect us."

"He fled New York under a nom de plume," Sherlock says. "And we never saw him again."

[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns to himself, processing all of that. It certainly wasn't anything he would've guessed. So it's not... quite like Andrew. He didn't die while they were dating.

What Mycroft did was... it sounds both noble and selfish. Or perhaps arrogant? Locking them out of his decisions like that, his brother and his lover. Perhaps it's admirable that he would rather never see them again than risk them being hurt. But it also seems like... giving up. He can understand why they were angry.

He sits there in silence for a few moments, before finally he moves, shifting closer to Joan and wrapping his arms around her. Both to comfort her and himself.

[formersurgeon]

Giving up was exactly it. Mycroft might have thought of it as nobly sacrificing himself, but to Joan he just deprived them of having him in their lives.

She wraps her arms around him as well, holding onto him tightly. Sherlock stares into the distance, tapping his leg.

[theodorelasso]

He just holds onto her for a moment, closing his eyes. Trying to soften some of the pain.

He opens his eyes and looks over at Sherlock, seeing him staring off. Ted pulls one arm away from Joan, and reaches over to put his hand on Sherlock's. And ready to pull back if he doesn't like it, but still. He wants to show Sherlock that he wishes he could take away his pain as well.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock looks down to stare at Ted's hand covering his own. He doesn't move to take his hand, but he also doesn't pull away.

"I had been very angry with my brother," he says softly, his voice raw. "I heard that Le Milieu had been destroyed some time ago, which removed the circumstance that would keep him in hiding. But I didn't reach out to him. A couple months ago a good friend helped me to see that I needed to forgive Mycroft, that I was foolish to waste the time I could be having with my brother." He shakes his head a little. "But the time was already up," he almost whispers. "He had died ten months previously."

[theodorelasso]

It breaks Ted's heart, listening to Sherlock talking about this. Both for the content of his words, and the sound of his voice. His heart aches for them both.

"I'm sorry," Ted says softly, and gives Sherlock's hand a gentle squeeze. He wishes there was more to say or do, but there really isn't.

[formersurgeon]

Joan shifts in Ted's embrace so she can reach out to put her hand on Sherlock's other hand. Sherlock glances at her hand then up at her, his expression sorrowful.

He looks back down at her hand, then glances at Ted's hand.

He turns both of his hands over and curls his fingers around their hands.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles sadly, but also touched and grateful for this connection. He can tell it's pretty special and unusual for Sherlock to display that kind of affection - or accepting that kind of comfort. And Ted's grateful that Sherlock will let him in enough to let him give that kind of comfort. Suddenly he doesn't wish there was more to say, because this alone seems more meaningful than words.

[formersurgeon]

This is very unusual for Sherlock, and after a moment of holding their hands he takes a breath and lets go, withdrawing a little to re-establish his personal space.

Joan takes back her hand and leans into Ted.

[theodorelasso]

Ted mirrors Joan, glad at least it's easy enough to tell when Sherlock's had enough.

He gives Joan a soft smile and a squeeze. It's awful, hearing about their hardships, but at the same time it's good to feel like he's able to give some comfort, and to let them talk about it.

[formersurgeon]

She squeezes him back, grateful for his concern, for his kindness. She's also grateful for the connection he's forged with Sherlock. Her partner is typically slow to make friends, and even slower to allow himself to be vulnerable around them. This is, in fact, the first time Sherlock has held her hand, and she's closer to him than anyone.

"I love you," she murmurs to Ted. And then: "Thank you."

[theodorelasso]

"You too," he answers just as quietly. He doesn't know exactly what she's thanking him for - being concerned and comforting, probably. Or perhaps for actually being someone who can connect with Sherlock. She's more or less thanked him for that before.

He leans his head against hers, stroking her arm a bit as he holds her. The mood has taken a bit more somber turn, but also a more intimate one.

[formersurgeon]

Joan closes her eyes, relaxing against him. She's beginning to tire. It's been an active day already, and while her energy and strength have improved greatly, she's still not at 100%.

Sherlock remains fairly close to them, now idly people watching, the distress having passed.

[theodorelasso]

Ted sits there holding her, snacking on apple slices and people-watching as well for a while. "You want to head back?" he asks softly, after Joan doesn't seem to perk up again.

They should probably get home before the task of getting there becomes exhausting.

[formersurgeon]

She's been drifting a little, so his voice draws her back to full consciousness. "That's probably a good idea," she says, pushing herself up to sitting then stretching her arms up, yawning. "We'll have to do this again, though," she says halfway through the yawn, and lowers her arms, giving Ted a smile.

Sherlock begins packing up and collecting trash.

[theodorelasso]

"Definitely," he agrees, returning the smile, and then giving her a kiss for good measure, before he starts helping Sherlock to pack up, as much as he can without walking around.

Once they've gathered everything besides the blanket, he holds his hands out to help Joan up and back into the wheerchair.

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles at the kiss, and does what she can to help with the packing, passing leftover food and trash over from her side of the blanket.

She takes Ted's hands as they're offered, and with his help gets to her feet. She wobbles a bit, gripping his arms, but manages to stay up.

[theodorelasso]

It doesn't surprise him that she wobbles a bit when she's tired, and he's still very careful and attentive to make sure he can catch her if she does buckle. At least here she would fall on the blanket and the soft ground though. He can't wait for picking her up for nothing but fun reasons though. (Judging by their improvement rate, she'll get better before his leg does though, even if he only had a mild fracture.)

He helps her into the chair and makes sure she's seated, then goes to grab his crutches, watching as Sherlock folds up the blanket and gets them ready to leave.

[formersurgeon]

She's looking forward to that too, to a time when they're both better and he can lift her up and twirl her around just got the sheer joy of it.

Sherlock rolls up the blanket and slips it into the basket, then sets it carefully in Watson's lap.

"Shall we?" he says as he goes behind the chair, ready to wheel Watson back to 221A.

[theodorelasso]

"Onwards," Ted affirms with a smile, setting off, but making sure to enjoy the sun and the fresh air while he can. Turns out when you're used to being outside pretty much every single day, being stuck in the house isn't great.

And after the time in Turner's basement, followed by a hospital stay, followed by injury recovery, followed by hiding underground, followed by another hospital stay, and then looking after Joan... No wonder he's stressed and anxious. Even with the emotional conversation (and the discussion of guns), he still feels a lot better now than he did this morning.

[formersurgeon]

It's definitely so nice being outside, and Joan can tell that Ted has benefitted from it greatly. She hopes they can both start getting back to some semblance of normalcy soon, which would include doing things outside of their safe haven. She wants him to be able to get back to his team. She knows he misses them.