For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[theodorelasso]

Ted has some context for the reasons Sherlock would want some distance. The reason why it stayed that way, and why it got a different kind of significance is heart-warming though.

"That's sweet," he answers softly. "I figure I'm probably the only one who gets to call her 'sweetie' without getting decked," he adds with a chuckle. That's not an uncommon nickname for a romantic partner though.

[formersurgeon]

"There are those who get away with a withering glare," Sherlock deadpans. He's generally right, though, and it pleases Sherlock that he seems fond of that aspect of Watson's personality. Plenty of men would not be.

[theodorelasso]

Ted chuckles at Sherlock's joke. Ted himself definitely has a need to be agreeable, and doesn't rise to the bait when insulted, doesn't take it to heart. He admires Joan's resolve to not let anyone treat her any way she doesn't want to be treated. She's never unkind about it, just firm.

It's comforting in a way. He knows if he ever accidentally stepped over a line, she would let him know. He doesn't need to tiptoe around her feelings - and Ted definitely has a tendency of doing that.

"She knows how to take care of herself, that's for sure," he observes fondly, looking down at her. Which is why it makes him sad how frustrating it must be with the state she's in right now. But she's getting better now, at least.

[formersurgeon]

"That she does," Sherlock says, also looking down at his sleeping partner, with just as much fondness.

"Has she mentioned Angus?" he asks softly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns softly, thinking back. "The bust you used to talk to to work out problems?" he asks. He remembers that he suggested he could stand in for that.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods. He figured it might have come up at some point, although it does make Sherlock wonder how thorough Ted's knowledge of the history of their partnership is. "Did she mention what happened to Angus?"

[theodorelasso]

He takes a moment to consider. "No, I don't think so," he answers. "I was suggesting I could be the clueless one you explain things to, like the rubber duck, and she explained about Angus and how you'd told her she'd be the new Angus, way back when. That's about it."

[formersurgeon]

The corner of Sherlock's mouth twitches upward in rueful amusement. "I'm sure you can imagine how well she took that."

He takes a breath, his eyes still on Joan.

"Early in our relationship, a man who used to be my drug dealer came to me for help in finding his kidnapped daughter." He mentions the dealer because he is certain Ted is aware by now of how Sherlock met Watson in the first place. "I missed a crucial clue , and the kidnapper, who was an undercover narcotics agent, came to the brownstone and took Watson and my acquaintance hostage. The acquaintance managed to free himself and Watson, and he tackled the kidnapper, getting himself shot for his trouble. Watson ran in, grabbed Angus off of the mantel, and smashed it over the kidnapper's head. She then proceeded to stop the bleeding of my acquaintance until the ambulance arrived."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at Sherlock's comment about how she took it - that's almost exactly the sentence Joan had said about it too.

He listens quietly, enraptured by the recounting, frowning softly. If this was early in their relationship, he imagines it's before Joan was a detective, still a sober companion. (And probably doing an important job, if Sherlock was helping his former dealer.)

He doesn't know what to say once Sherlock finishes, just looks down at Joan, both impressed and retroactively worried for her. In a way he's not surprised - it's perfectly in line with what she's done for Ted. He supposes that was one of the early ways Sherlock learned what Joan was capable of.

After a moment, he ties a connection to what's happened recently, and he looks back up at Sherlock. "You blame yourself for putting her in danger because you missed something," he observes quietly. He might as well be talking about the gala.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock glances at Ted, and there's guilt and sadness in his eyes. It's a vulnerable, raw moment for someone whose default is to shut people out. He looks back at Watson. He absolutely blames himself. He should have realized the narcotics agent was the kidnapper. And that the waiter was the poisoner. Both times Watson paid a price for his misstep. Both times she could have died. This time she nearly did.

"It was after that that I first insisted Watson learn a few methods of self-defense. Especially since it was likewise shortly after that that she became under my tutelage and employ."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods in understanding. He feels awful for Sherlock. Ted blames himself too, for wanting to go through with it, but he imagines it's worse for Sherlock. This is what he does. It was his responsibility, especially at the gala.

"For about a minute there, I also blamed you," he admits quietly. He figures Sherlock appreciates honesty more than superficial reassurance, and that the honesty will make the actual reassurance matter more. "When I was scared she might die, I was angry, cause I'd thought she'd be safe because of you. But I know you did everything you could. As close as you can get, you still can't predict or know everything."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods a little. "You want to believe she can be safe," her says softly, still gazing at the woman they both love dearly. "That if only you, or I, do everything right, then no harm will ever come to her." He shifts his eyes to Ted. " But you're wrong. We both are. As much as we want to protect her, we are men, not gods. Even if Watson's chosen profession was more pedestrian, happenstance may still see her injured in one way or another. As a detective..." Sherlock shakes his head. "Our life is uniquely rewarding, yet also dangerous, even at times deadly. But she has chosen this work."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods in sad agreement. Neither of them want to lose her, and they've recently been faced with the possibility they might. Just like Joan had to face the possibility of losing Ted. It was close for both of them. It's scary to think you can never be 100% safe, but it's a part of being human, no matter what you do for a living.

"All you can really do is make sure the way you live your life is worth the risks and the downsides," he agrees. He raises his hands to pet Joan's hair, but then stops himself, not wanting to wake her.

[formersurgeon]

"And appreciate how precious are the moments we have, both in our lives and with each other."

How different that sentiment from where he was when Watson first came into his life.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles warmly at that, touched by and very much in agreement with the sentiment. "That's a truth bomb right there," he answers softly. His affection for Sherlock has grown rapidly in the past couple weeks.

"I'd very much like to hug you right now, but out of respect for your feelings about that sort of thing, I'm not gonna," he says, smiling both kindly and a bit playfully. "But please take my lack of hugging you as a gesture of what a hug normally says."

[formersurgeon]

"I appreciate your restraint," he responds, a bit gruff but not unkind. Ted is clearly a hugger, while Sherlock most definitely is not. He's never even hugged Watson. Physical affection that is not sexually directed is too emotionally intense for him, and his experiences with absent parents and cruel boarding school classmates and teachers have ensured those emotions are more negative than not.

[theodorelasso]

Ted continues smiling, and finally can't resist reaching over to very lightly stroke Joan's hair. It's still nicely braided, and she looks so calm and peaceful. Ted just feels very physically affectionate right now, and if he can't hug Sherlock, he still wants to do something.

[formersurgeon]

Joan remains sound asleep, having been so thoroughly worn out.

Sherlock watches Ted being tender with Watson, and he can't help but smile faintly. The love and devotion they have for each other is clear. What's more, Sherlock knows he doesn't have to worry about Ted taking Joan away, so he can be happy without being afraid.

"We're going to have to wake her shortly for her medication," he notes quietly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods. He sits there for a moment longer, then sets his smoothie aside, stretches a bit and starts to get out of bed. "I'm gonna go get presentable before Shaun gets here," he says, grabbing his crutches. "You good here?"

[formersurgeon]

"She is in good hands," he assures him. "Is there anything you need for your session?"

[theodorelasso]

"Nah, I think we're good," he answers with a smile. "We're just gonna be in the living room." If they need anything, they can always come ask. While the visits are somewhat about managing the pain and recovering properly, they're also health checkups and making sure that he's taking his pills responsibly, and all that.

Ted heads to the bathroom to wash, put on deodorant, shave, change clothes, all that stuff. He doesn't take his pills just yet, since it'll be difficult to examine his pain levels if he's just taken meds for them.

He's just in the middle of making coffee when Shaun shows up, and Ted lets him in. And then there's small-talk and coffee before they even start, which Ted always appreciates. Though the small talk this time does include a few bigger things, like whe's living here right now.

[formersurgeon]

When Ted leaves the room, Sherlock pauses for a moment, then gets up and carefully sits on the bed beside Watson, back against the wall and legs stretched out in front of him with his ankles crossed. He sits there, aware of Watson sleeping beside him as he ponders over the Rupert Mannion case. He wonders in particular why exactly Moriarty sent the photo to Ted. The woman does nothing without some purpose.

His pondering is eventually interrupted by Joan stirring. She opens her eyes, smiling, expecting the person by her side to be Ted. She blinks when it's not.

"Your lover is fine, Watson," he says before she can say anything. "He's in the living room with Shaun."

"Oh. Good." She begins to stretch...then realizes she's still naked. She clutches the blankets to her chest and gives Sherlock a look. He stares forward.

"You have been fully covered while I have been present," he assures while pointedly not looking at her.

"Good." She sighs with a slight frown. "I think I'll still need help getting dressed. But I don't want to interrupt Ted's session."

"If the covers are sufficient, you can wait until the session is over," Sherlock suggests. "At any rate, it is time for your medication. I will fetch that for you."

He gets up and heads out of the room toward the living room and the kitchen beyond.

[theodorelasso]

It's a productive session at least, with Shaun teaching Ted ways of managing his sciatica better, sleeping positions, stretching exercises, how to make sure he doesn't make it worse by walking wrong. He also gently chides Ted for walking around a lot with just the one crutch, and makes Ted promise to be more careful.

Ted also tells him about his withdrawal symptoms when he forgot to take his meds, though they agree not to lower his dose, since Ted still has a little bit of pain even when he takes them. He also reassures Shaun that Joan used to be a sober companion, so he's in very good hands.

By the time Sherlock comes out, Ted and Shaun are mostly just chatting, Ted laughing at a joke Shaun just made. Shaun looks like the poster boy for physical therapists.

Ted looks up when he notices Sherlock heading for the kitchen. "Oh hey, Sherlock, Joan's awake?"

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock glances at Shaun, then back at Ted. "Awake and unclothed," he says, not caring whatsoever that there's a stranger in the room. "I am fetching her medicine and a glass of water as she arranges herself."

[theodorelasso]

"Oh, shoot, right," Ted says, realizing he should've brought her clothes first. Well, actually, she might not have been able to put it on, so then he'd have woken her.

"I'll be there in a sec. Oh, Shaun, this is Sherlock, Joan's partner in crime-solving. Sherlock, Shaun," he introduces. Shaun gets to his feet, and Ted starts to as well, but then Shaun gives him a stern look and Ted holds up his hands in surrender, before Shaun turns to offer Sherlock his hand. "Oh, you don't have to.." Ted starts, but trails off.