For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

Sherlock gets the text, and follows the recipe mostly to the letter, although he adds in pineapple in order to give just a hint of sour to the otherwise sweet concoction. He pours out three glasses and puts one in the fridge before carrying the other two to the bedroom. He offers one to Ted.

[theodorelasso]

Ted quietly thanks him, accepting the smoothie and putting his laptop aside so he doesn't spill all over it. He's gotten quite hungry by now, so he immediately starts slurping it down. He frowns softly down at it. "Did you add something else?" he asks curiously, though not disapproving.

[formersurgeon]

"Pineapple," he affirms, sitting in the chair with his own smoothie. "The recipe leaned a bit sweet, and I felt the light tartness of the pineapple would add a pleasant dimension."

As much as Sherlock speaks of food as nutrition, he's surprisingly good at creating pleasing taste profiles.

[theodorelasso]

"You were right," Ted answers, smiling with obvious approval, and sips some more. He can taste the pineapple now. He makes a mental note to ask Sherlock for cooking and baking advice whenever he feels like something's missing.

"Did you know pineapple stings your mouth if you eat too much cause it's actually basically eating you as well?" he asks. "I bet you did know that, you're a smart cookie," he adds with a smile.

[formersurgeon]

"It contains the enzyme bromelain," Sherlock says after a long sip of his smoothie. "Which breaks down the proteins in your mouth. Whether one could call that 'eating' without associated organs, however..."

[theodorelasso]

"See, I knew you'd know," Ted answers, pleased. Between him and Beard, he's surrounded by walking encyclopedias. "Don't suppose you've ever solved any pineapple-related crime?"

[formersurgeon]

"Watson and I did encounter a drug smuggling operation with a penchant for hiding their product in shipments of pineapple," he says. He takes another sip. "Another case was complicated by the presence of formaldehyde that is often utilized to preserve pineapple."

[theodorelasso]

"They use formaldehyde to preserve pineapple? Huh," he answers curiously. This is the kind of crime stories he enjoys hearing. "Hey, how come you call her Watson instead of Joan?" he asks, it just occurring to him to ask.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock lowers his glass and swallows. "When we began working together," he explains quietly, "there were a number of reasons why I sought to maintain a certain psychological distance. Calling her Watson was a part of that. As things began to change, so did the significance of the name. I suppose it has become a symbol of the unique status of our relationship." He looks over at the sleeping woman with a slight smile of fondness. "The rest of the world calls her Joan, but she will always be my dear Watson."

[theodorelasso]

Ted has some context for the reasons Sherlock would want some distance. The reason why it stayed that way, and why it got a different kind of significance is heart-warming though.

"That's sweet," he answers softly. "I figure I'm probably the only one who gets to call her 'sweetie' without getting decked," he adds with a chuckle. That's not an uncommon nickname for a romantic partner though.

[formersurgeon]

"There are those who get away with a withering glare," Sherlock deadpans. He's generally right, though, and it pleases Sherlock that he seems fond of that aspect of Watson's personality. Plenty of men would not be.

[theodorelasso]

Ted chuckles at Sherlock's joke. Ted himself definitely has a need to be agreeable, and doesn't rise to the bait when insulted, doesn't take it to heart. He admires Joan's resolve to not let anyone treat her any way she doesn't want to be treated. She's never unkind about it, just firm.

It's comforting in a way. He knows if he ever accidentally stepped over a line, she would let him know. He doesn't need to tiptoe around her feelings - and Ted definitely has a tendency of doing that.

"She knows how to take care of herself, that's for sure," he observes fondly, looking down at her. Which is why it makes him sad how frustrating it must be with the state she's in right now. But she's getting better now, at least.

[formersurgeon]

"That she does," Sherlock says, also looking down at his sleeping partner, with just as much fondness.

"Has she mentioned Angus?" he asks softly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns softly, thinking back. "The bust you used to talk to to work out problems?" he asks. He remembers that he suggested he could stand in for that.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods. He figured it might have come up at some point, although it does make Sherlock wonder how thorough Ted's knowledge of the history of their partnership is. "Did she mention what happened to Angus?"

[theodorelasso]

He takes a moment to consider. "No, I don't think so," he answers. "I was suggesting I could be the clueless one you explain things to, like the rubber duck, and she explained about Angus and how you'd told her she'd be the new Angus, way back when. That's about it."

[formersurgeon]

The corner of Sherlock's mouth twitches upward in rueful amusement. "I'm sure you can imagine how well she took that."

He takes a breath, his eyes still on Joan.

"Early in our relationship, a man who used to be my drug dealer came to me for help in finding his kidnapped daughter." He mentions the dealer because he is certain Ted is aware by now of how Sherlock met Watson in the first place. "I missed a crucial clue , and the kidnapper, who was an undercover narcotics agent, came to the brownstone and took Watson and my acquaintance hostage. The acquaintance managed to free himself and Watson, and he tackled the kidnapper, getting himself shot for his trouble. Watson ran in, grabbed Angus off of the mantel, and smashed it over the kidnapper's head. She then proceeded to stop the bleeding of my acquaintance until the ambulance arrived."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at Sherlock's comment about how she took it - that's almost exactly the sentence Joan had said about it too.

He listens quietly, enraptured by the recounting, frowning softly. If this was early in their relationship, he imagines it's before Joan was a detective, still a sober companion. (And probably doing an important job, if Sherlock was helping his former dealer.)

He doesn't know what to say once Sherlock finishes, just looks down at Joan, both impressed and retroactively worried for her. In a way he's not surprised - it's perfectly in line with what she's done for Ted. He supposes that was one of the early ways Sherlock learned what Joan was capable of.

After a moment, he ties a connection to what's happened recently, and he looks back up at Sherlock. "You blame yourself for putting her in danger because you missed something," he observes quietly. He might as well be talking about the gala.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock glances at Ted, and there's guilt and sadness in his eyes. It's a vulnerable, raw moment for someone whose default is to shut people out. He looks back at Watson. He absolutely blames himself. He should have realized the narcotics agent was the kidnapper. And that the waiter was the poisoner. Both times Watson paid a price for his misstep. Both times she could have died. This time she nearly did.

"It was after that that I first insisted Watson learn a few methods of self-defense. Especially since it was likewise shortly after that that she became under my tutelage and employ."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods in understanding. He feels awful for Sherlock. Ted blames himself too, for wanting to go through with it, but he imagines it's worse for Sherlock. This is what he does. It was his responsibility, especially at the gala.

"For about a minute there, I also blamed you," he admits quietly. He figures Sherlock appreciates honesty more than superficial reassurance, and that the honesty will make the actual reassurance matter more. "When I was scared she might die, I was angry, cause I'd thought she'd be safe because of you. But I know you did everything you could. As close as you can get, you still can't predict or know everything."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods a little. "You want to believe she can be safe," her says softly, still gazing at the woman they both love dearly. "That if only you, or I, do everything right, then no harm will ever come to her." He shifts his eyes to Ted. " But you're wrong. We both are. As much as we want to protect her, we are men, not gods. Even if Watson's chosen profession was more pedestrian, happenstance may still see her injured in one way or another. As a detective..." Sherlock shakes his head. "Our life is uniquely rewarding, yet also dangerous, even at times deadly. But she has chosen this work."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods in sad agreement. Neither of them want to lose her, and they've recently been faced with the possibility they might. Just like Joan had to face the possibility of losing Ted. It was close for both of them. It's scary to think you can never be 100% safe, but it's a part of being human, no matter what you do for a living.

"All you can really do is make sure the way you live your life is worth the risks and the downsides," he agrees. He raises his hands to pet Joan's hair, but then stops himself, not wanting to wake her.

[formersurgeon]

"And appreciate how precious are the moments we have, both in our lives and with each other."

How different that sentiment from where he was when Watson first came into his life.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles warmly at that, touched by and very much in agreement with the sentiment. "That's a truth bomb right there," he answers softly. His affection for Sherlock has grown rapidly in the past couple weeks.

"I'd very much like to hug you right now, but out of respect for your feelings about that sort of thing, I'm not gonna," he says, smiling both kindly and a bit playfully. "But please take my lack of hugging you as a gesture of what a hug normally says."

[formersurgeon]

"I appreciate your restraint," he responds, a bit gruff but not unkind. Ted is clearly a hugger, while Sherlock most definitely is not. He's never even hugged Watson. Physical affection that is not sexually directed is too emotionally intense for him, and his experiences with absent parents and cruel boarding school classmates and teachers have ensured those emotions are more negative than not.