For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

Comments

[theodorelasso]

"Well, his dad was from Boston, and took him to a bunch of games as a kid. And Williams was my grandpa's favorite player," Ted explains, going back to brushing and braiding her hair. "So it was like... something that reminded him of good father-son bonding, you know? Wasn't so much about the baseball as it was the time they spent together."

[formersurgeon]

She smiles. "That's wonderful." Joan doesn't know much about Ted's dad. Little more than the fact he died when Ted was sixteen, really. But the clear love he has for him and Ted's devotion to his own son suggests to Joan that the elder Lasso was an amazing person and father.

[theodorelasso]

Ted himself doesn't know that much about his dad. Obviously he knows a fair amount, but there was so much they just never got to talk about.

"And then... Well, Henry's named after my dad," he says, a bit softer. "Once we found out it was a boy, there wasn't really much question. What about you, why'd your parents name you Joan?" he asks, not giving her much time to comment on Henry's name. "Or... Jingyi?" he adds. He gets pretty close, though still with that Kansas sound.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles as he says her Chinese name. It's close, closer than it was before, and Joan wonders if he's been practicing. She wouldn't be surprised.

"Jingyi was my grandmother's name," she says. "My mom's mom. She was an immigrant from China and didn't really speak a lot of English, and I remember my mom having us spend time with her so we'd learn Mandarin. I was better at it when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure Joan was my father's idea."

[theodorelasso]

He may have practiced a little bit. He found a youtube video.

"Probably a good way to learn a language," he observes. "That's nice, though, I bet she was real happy you were named after her."

[formersurgeon]

She nods. "I think she was. She wouldn't ever say it out loud, though. She was traditional in a lot of ways, which included a sense of humility that was common among immigrant Chinese women of her generation."

Joan's hand moves to find Ted's knee, idly brushing it with her fingertips.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at the touch of affection. He finishes braiding the other braid, and reaches over to grab the hairband and put it on. Then he leans over and kisses the back of her neck, then wraps his arms around her stomach, leaning his chin on her shoulder and hugging her from behind. "All done."

[formersurgeon]

Joan smiles and leans back against him, resting her head against his and her arms over his.

"Thank you," she murmurs. She can't honestly remember if she's ever had a lover braid her hair. She thinks it's unlikely. And yet there is so much love and sweetness and intimacy in it that it almost makes sense that only Ted has done this for her, Ted who is the most loving and sweet man she's been with and with whom she has a far deeper intimacy than with anyone else.

[theodorelasso]

"You're welcome," he murmurs back, closing his eyes. Just sitting there, breathing with her, taking comfort in their closeness. Leaning on her, metaphorically and physically. He loves her so much. "You smell nice," he whispers gently.

[formersurgeon]

It's comfortable and warm there in his arms, and Joan can relax against him without having to use a lot of energy. She closes her eyes as well with a gentle sigh, and brushes her fingertips against the back of his hand.

She smiles. "This really great guy washed my hair twice today," she responds playfully.

[theodorelasso]

"Mmmm, sounds like a keeper," he answers back, just as playfully, turning his head to kiss her neck again. "He must love you very much. Lucky for him."

At least they're taking advantage of Sherlock not being there.

[formersurgeon]

She hums quietly as he kisses her neck again. It feels so nice, and Joan is finding her heart beating just a little faster, her cheeks just a little flushed.

"I love him very much, too," she murmurs. "We're both lucky."

She turns her head to catch his lips in a kiss, a small sound rising from her throat as she does so.

[theodorelasso]

Ted makes a gentle sound of surprise, but kisses her back happily, letting go of her a bit so they can more easily face each other. He can feel the warmth of her cheeks as they kiss.

[formersurgeon]

Joan shifts a little to face him, allowing him to do most of the moving. She reaches out to settle her hands on his waist and parts her lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss. She's not sure how much energy she has to spare, but he did offer earlier to allow her to lie back and enjoy, so perhaps it won't matter too much.

[theodorelasso]

Ted leans into the kiss, making a happy noise and smiling as he does so. He wraps his arms around her so she can lean on him. He doesn't make any other advances though, nor is he rushing. He's just enjoying the feeling of kissing her and being together.

[formersurgeon]

She leans into him happily, able to redirect her energy into the kiss, and into one hand slipping under his shirt, just to touch his bare skin.

[theodorelasso]

Ted makes a small noise at that, and pulls back a little from the kiss. "Um.." he says gently. "Are you sure you want to...?" He doesn't finish the sentence, but he can obviously see where this is heading.

[formersurgeon]

She gives him a small nod. "If you want to. You'll have to be gentle with me." She lifts her other hand to tuck back a lock of his hair that's fallen over his forehead. Her hand is still trembling, her nervous system still damaged. But she still wants to be with him like this, to find solace and comfort in this expression of love for one another.

"I know you'll be gentle," she whispers.

[theodorelasso]

He still hesitates a bit, reluctant but trying to hide it, or just pass it off as concern on her behalf. But he wants to make her feel good, and she deserves that, so he pushes past the feeling and leans in to kiss her again anyway.

(Clearly he didn't fully process the 'if you want to' part.)

[formersurgeon]

She notices that reluctance and his attempt to hide it, and it concerns her. When he leans in to kiss her again she kisses him back with a soft, brief kiss before pulling back a little.

"Hey," she says softly, her eyes on his. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

[theodorelasso]

Ted opens his mouth to answer, but hesitates, not sure what to say. Which is probably all the answer Joan needs.

It's just... been a very long day. An exhausting day, both emotionally and physically. He's been putting all his remaining energy this evening into making Joan happy, into being what she needs, and putting all his own stuff aside. And while he absolutely could continue doing so by going down on her, he finds it difficult to actually find the energy to convince her.

There's also the fact that Sherlock is in the other room, but then he's used to having a kid in the house while he's having sex, so that part he can probably deal with. Though Sherlock is a lot more observant and intelligent than a 10 year old.

[formersurgeon]

That hesitation gives Joan her answer. She's a little disappointed, but they can try again later if he feels up to it.

"It's okay," she says, leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder. "We need to take it easy. Do you want to call Sherlock in so we can sleep?"

[theodorelasso]

"Oh, I need to go take my evening meds anyway," he answers. The fact his pain is slowly returning probably isn't helping matters.

He feels bad, but realistically he knows there's only so much he can do. He just wishes he could do more. Simultaneously he's grateful that Joan doesn't demand more.

"Hey," he says, reaching up to cup her face and lift her head to look at him. "I love you," he says softly, giving her a smile and a soft kiss.

[formersurgeon]

They're both tired and feeling the effects of their injuries, so it's really for the best that they not push things too far. They have time. There's going to be a long stretch with them cooped up to recuperate, and Joan is pretty sure they'll find the time and energy to have sex at some point.

"I love you," she answers, mirroring his smile and kissing him back just as softly.

[theodorelasso]

His smile widens a little at the reciprocation. He knows she's disappointed, he just wants to make sure she's not too disappointed. Or that she thinks there's some other reason why he doesn't want to have sex. Because wanting to isn't really the problem.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get ready for bed," he says, moving a bit and helping her lie back down. "Need anything? Wanna brush your teeth?"