For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

Joan gives him a faint smile, trying to be at least a little reassuring.

"Unfortunately that's one of the problems with nocturnal seizures," Dr. Bergen says, continuing to place the electrodes. "They often go unnoticed since they happen when the subject is sleeping. It's fortunate Mr. Holmes was able to witness this one."

[theodorelasso]

"Well - one of us has been with her the entire time, including when she's been asleep, so we would have noticed, right?" Ted asks. He hopes dearly the reason they haven't is because there hasn't been any others.

[formersurgeon]

"Not necessarily," Dr. Bergen says as she glues down the last electrode. "Not if you were asleep, too."

Joan squeezes his hand a little. "Hey," she says to get his attention. "This isn't your fault. Okay?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted looks down at her with a worried frown, that says a part of him definitely still feels like this is his fault, going through various 'if it weren't for him...' patterns. At the very least, him wanting to go through with the gala. He knows he shouldn't think like that, but it's very hard not to.

He looks over at Sherlock. "Could you get me a chair, please?" he asks quietly. He wants to be close to Joan, but he's been on his feet more than he should.

[formersurgeon]

Joan can guess those thoughts are going through his head, and it makes her sad. She wants to make him feel better but she knows there's only so much she can do or say.

Sherlock nods and goes out, returning with one of the kitchen chairs, which he sets down next to the wheelchair.

[theodorelasso]

Ted quietly thanks Sherlock, and gives Joan a reassuring smile. He doesn't want her worrying about his feelings on top of everything else.

"So, all of this," he says to the doctor, gesturing at the electrodes. "Is to figure out how serious it is, or?"

[formersurgeon]

She smiles back, aware that they're reassuring each other while they're both probably putting on a brave face. Joan knows that this is serious, more serious than the doctor is letting on. People die from nocturnal seizures. It's a really good thing Sherlock caught it.

"Yeah, pretty much," the doctor says, stretching a gauze cap over Joan's head to help keep the electrodes in place. "I'll do some tests while she's awake, then we'll let her sleep and see if we can record an incident."

She gathers the wires together at the nape of Joan's neck like a ponytail and secures them with a tie.

[theodorelasso]

They have to put on a brave face, cause the alternative is panicking, and that's not going to do anyone any good. Hopefully this will be just another awful thing in possibly the worst month ever, but just another thing they can recover from.

"Alright, well, just tell me what you need from us. Including 'get out of the way'," Ted says, and gives a (somewhat weak) chuckle.

[formersurgeon]

"I'll need your help to get her in bed," the doctor says as she starts plugging the wires into the EEG machine. "Once I'm done here."

Joan definitely agrees that it's better to be brave for each other than to freak out together. She smiles at Ted and mouths "love you."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles at Joan, mouthing 'you too' back. He sits there watching the doctor, not wanting to interrupt. And worrying. He's definitely worrying. Just like Sherlock standing there off to the side, watching closely.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock is certainly worrying, standing stiff and awkward on the other side of the room, his expression grim. He knows how serious this is, and is much less inclined to put on a brave face. That requires a level of social finesse he doesn't frequently concern himself with him.

"All right," the doctor says, the last wire plugged into the machine. "With your help, gentlemen, let's get Miss Watson in bed without getting the wires tangled."

Sherlock comes over and leans down to scoop Watson up.

[theodorelasso]

Ted stands up again, letting Sherlock do the actual carrying, and instead just making sure neither the wheelchair nor the wires get in the way, then helping her get comfortably settled.

"How sick are you of being carted around by now?" he jokes quietly at Joan, smiling softly at her.

[formersurgeon]

"It might not be my favorite thing in the world," she jokes back, returning the smile.

"If you gentlemen can stand back, please," the doctor says, "I can begin the testing."

Sherlock backs up, standing against the wall again. "May we remain in the room?" he asks.

"Yes, as long as you don't disrupt the tests."

[theodorelasso]

Ted gives Joan's hand a squeeze and smiles reassuringly at her, before going back to sit in the chair, watching quietly, nervously fidgeting. He hates this, the waiting for judgement of how bad it's going to be, while unable to do anything to help.

[formersurgeon]

The doctor begins giving Joan directions, having her open and close her eyes, then having her breathe deeply. She holds a strobe light over her face, the light flashing at different speeds.

After a few minutes of those tests, the doctor leans down to Joan.

"All right...just relax and sleep if you can."

Joan smiles a little, her eyes closed. "That won't be hard," she murmurs.

The doctor stands back, looking at the display on the machine. Sherlock looks over at the display as well, frowning faintly. Slowly the brain waves, scribbles on the screen, start to smooth out into long slopes.

Joan's asleep.

[theodorelasso]

Ted's not sure whether it's better or worse that he doesn't really know what's going on. He's usually okay with uncertainty, with taking challenges as they come. But this is different. He just hopes she's okay.

He watches Joan more than the screen, watching as she slowly falls asleep. He sits there for a few minutes, anxiously watching.

"How long do you need her to be asleep?" he whispers at the doctor.

[formersurgeon]

"We'll give her half an hour," she whispers back, glancing at the display to make sure they're not waking her. The brainwaves continue to be smooth and slow.

Ten minutes go by. Sherlock begins to nervously tap his fingers against his lips again, watching Watson and every so often glancing at the display.

It's during one of those glances that he sees one of those smooth lines spike.

Joan's finger twitches.

[theodorelasso]

Ted almost walks away to do something else, be somewhere else, the waiting kind of unbearable. Mostly because he can't just be in bed with her, holding her. Still, he remains, watching her, unable to do anything but worry.

He notices the shift in Sherlock's stance before he even notices Joan's twitching finger, and he sits up straighter, looking at the screen, then at the doctor. He has to stop himself from immediately asking multiple questions, biting his lip.

[formersurgeon]

The doctor notices the spike and the twitch. She frowns faintly, her eyes shifting back and forth between the display and Joan. Sherlock has his hands balled at his sides, also looking back and forth from Joan to the display.

There's a second of stillness, where Sherlock is holding his breath.

Then multiple brainwave lines begin to go jagged, and Joan begins to twitch all over.

[theodorelasso]

Ted claps his hands over his mouth, getting to his feet without even thinking about what he's doing. He wants to go shake Joan awake, like she's having a nightmare, but he knows that he shouldn't - or that if anyone should, it would be the doctor.

It's a lot harder to keep a brave face now. It's terrifying to watch, and all Ted can do is stand there, watching helplessly.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock steps forward and takes hold of Ted's arm, both to steady him and to stop him from following through with the very understandable urge to wake Watson up. He had felt it himself earlier, but knew that it wouldn't go well, and that it was more important to learn how long she was seizing. Still, it's hard for him as well to watch his partner and best friend twitching like that, and his stricken expression shows it.

The doctor looks over and taps a finger to her lips to warn them to be quiet.

[theodorelasso]

Ted glances over at Sherlock, who looks like Ted feels. He shifts anxiously in place, pressing his hands together in front of his mouth, then runs a hand through his hair.

It's awful, and every second feels like an eternity, and Ted can feel himself tearing up. He would've noticed this, surely.

[formersurgeon]

Like last time, the twitching lasts about a minute before it subsides, and Joan continues to sleep undisturbed.

The doctor comes over to Ted and Sherlock.

"So..." she whispers. "As you can probably guess, this confirms the seizure. This came in stage 1 of her sleep cycle, which is common. It's likely she's had similar episodes before, but it's possible they were smaller and went unnoticed. Either way, it is possible this will eventually resolve itself as her body recovers from the nerve damage caused by cyanide intoxication. In the meantime, though, I will prescribe her anti-seizure medication. I would recommend Miss Watson be admitted for observation, but if the two of you believe you can keep an eye on her 24 hours a day for the next three days or so, she can stay here." She spreads her hands. "Any questions?"

[theodorelasso]

Ted desperately tries to process what he's being told, but his brain is working painfully slow in between all the panic and the worry. 'Possible' it will resolve itself. Not 'probable' or 'likely'.

He takes a deep breath. "Uh," he answers, when she asks if they have questions. "Wh- what do we do if it happens again?"

[formersurgeon]

The doctor nods at the question. "Mr. Holmes knows how to get in touch with me. If it happens again, let me know and I'll adjust her dosage or try another medication. Now, the greatest danger of these sorts of seizures are the possibility of arrested breathing. If that happens, in most cases the patient will resume breathing if rolled onto their side. If that does not happen, and the arrest lasts for longer than 30 seconds, call 999 and begin rescue breathing. All right?"