For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[formersurgeon]

"It's possible," the doctor says, being simultaneously gentle and honest. "Unlikely, but possible. Once we get her on the proper dosage of anti-seizure medication, we can be confident it won't happen. That's why those three days of monitoring are so important." She looks from Ted to Sherlock. "Do you feel comfortable with watching her?"

"Absolutely," Sherlock says, looking at Ted.

[theodorelasso]

Okay, so, once she has proper medication, that won't happen. So at least he doesn't need to be indefinitely worried about that. That's something, but right now it only does so much to reassure him.

Ted doesn't answer immediately, looking between the two of them. Of course he's fine with watching her. And he's probably going to be doing that regardless of whether she's in the hospital or at home. But they missed this. What if they miss something else?

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock can tell Ted is freaking out. He reaches out and puts a gentle hand on Ted's upper arm.

"We're not going to let anything happen to her," he says, meeting his eyes.

[theodorelasso]

Ted looks at Sherlock, and tries to take in the reassurances. He appreciates the comfort, because it's sorely needed right now.

After a moment he nods a bit, unsure at first but then more confident. "I mean.. Yeah, of course we're going to watch her."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods, squeezing Ted's arm before letting go to turn back to the doctor.

Dr. Bergen nods as well. "All right. Let's wake Miss Watson."

"Perhaps Ted would like to be the one to wake her," Sherlock suggests, looking back at Ted.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods appreciatively, as yes, he would very much like that. Though he has to take a moment to take another deep breath, and make sure he isn't looking quite so teary and distressed. He carefully limps over to the bed, and sits down next to Joan, taking her hand. "Hey, sweetie..." he says, gently stirring her.

[formersurgeon]

It takes a moment before Joan stirs. She opens her eyes and blinks blearily at Ted. "Hey," she says. She notices worry in his expression and she frowns faintly. She looks over to Sherlock and then the doctor.

Crap.

"It happened again, didn't it."

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods softly, and strokes her hand with his thumb.

"But doctor Bergen's going to prescribe you medicine, and we're gonna keep an eye on you and make sure you're alright," he promises, and he's thankful that he sounds more reassuring than he feels.

[formersurgeon]

"I know you will," she responds softly. She's absolutely certain. She trusts Sherlock and Ted with her life. It's unfortunate that happens to be literal in this case, but that doesn't make it any less true.

She looks at the doctor. "Dilantin?"

"Actually I was thinking Keppra. Less initial titration."

Joan nods. "That makes sense." She looks back at Ted, giving him a small smile and squeezing his hand. "It's going to be okay."

[theodorelasso]

Ted glances between them, grateful that Joan is also a doctor and can be involved in her own treatment. At least she'll know what to expect.

When she reassures him, he smiles, trying not to look too emotional. "We're supposed to be comforting you," he points out quietly.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles, her heart absolutely breaking for him. This has to be so hard and terrifying for him. Joan has seen seizures of all sorts, and they're not pretty. She can only imagine what it must have been like for him to watch her seizing and not being able to do anything about it.

"How about giving me a hug?" she says, so much love in her smile and her eyes.

[theodorelasso]

"That I can do," he affirms, leaning down and pulling her up a little into a hug, as warm and as comfortable as he can make it. He bumps a little against all the electrodes on her head, but he doesn't really care.

He hugs her tighter and longer than he really needs to. Like he's scared he's going to lose her. Which he is.

[formersurgeon]

She wraps her arms around him, holding him as best she can, one hand gently rubbing the back of his neck. She can feel how tightly he's holding her, and can guess why. He must be so afraid.

"Everything's going to be okay," she whispers.

[theodorelasso]

He squeezes her a bit tighter at the reassurances, grateful for... just her being who she is. While simultaneously worried she'll focus more on reassuring him than on looking after herself.

"I know it will," he whispers back. His optimism is definitely being tried lately, but that only makes him hold onto it even tighter.

[formersurgeon]

Joan is grateful for his optimism. It's helped her see the world and the people in it in a new and better light. Right now, though, she's grateful for it for his sake. This situation is scary, and his optimism will serve him well. She hopes he might be able to help Sherlock see the good in the world the same way he helped her.

[theodorelasso]

He gives her one last squeeze, then gently lets go of her. And then he gives her a kiss for good measure. (Sherlock will just have to deal.)

"How do you feel?" he asks gently. He has no idea what sort of toll those seizures might take on her, or whether she'd even notice any difference.

[formersurgeon]

Joan makes sure it's a proper kiss and not just a perfunctory peck. Sherlock will definitely just have to deal.

And deal he does, looking down but without a sigh or an eyeroll.

"I'm feeling fine," she says. "A little tired still. It's possible the seizures have been making my sleep less effective. I might recover faster now that we're taking care of them."

Dr. Bergen comes over with her phone. "I'm going to order the Keppra from a local pharmacy and have them deliver," she tells Joan. "Will that work?"

"It should." Joan looks over at Sherlock. "Could you get it when it comes?"

"Of course," he answers.

[theodorelasso]

Ted is only half paying attention to the other people in the room anyway, mostly focused on Joan. He takes her hand again, stroking it with his thumb, just wanting to hold onto some part of her.

"The team sends their love, by the way," he says with a soft smile, wanting to have at least something happy.

[formersurgeon]

She smiles back, definitely happy about that, fond of the little family that Ted has made of the team and happy to be part of the larger family that also embraces Rebecca and Keeley and Higgins.

"How did it go?" she asks, but before Ted can answer, Dr. Bergen interrupts.

"Sorry...how about we get those electrodes off your head?"

"Ah," Joan says. "That would be nice." She looks over at Sherlock, who doesn't need to be asked. He comes over to pick her up and get her back in the chair.

[theodorelasso]

Ted moves out of the way to give Sherlock room, sitting back down in the chair while she gets all that stuff off her.

"Yeah, it went alright," he answers, while the doctor starts doing her thing, happy to distract and entertain Joan in the meantime. "They're all very supportive. And supportively outraged," he adds with a soft chuckle. She's met them, so she can probably imagine.

"You know, their hearts are in the right place, but they can be a bit..." He pauses, not sure how to say it politely. "Well, Keeley tells me twitter calls them 'himbos'."

[formersurgeon]

She's glad to have the distraction, both from the tedious process of having all those electrodes removed from her head and from the situation in general. Her scalp and hair will be full of glue after this is all over, which means they'll have an excuse to take another long shower together to wash it all out.

She laughs at the term "himbos." (Dr. Bergen chuckles as well.) "Wow...it feels mean but I can't say I disagree with that assessment."

[theodorelasso]

It's so good to see her laugh. He's so glad he can at least provide that for her.

"Well, I probably was at that age too," he says with a chuckle. "Wait, does himbo also mean you had to be as big and muscly? Cause I was not that."

[formersurgeon]

It's good to laugh, and Joan is grateful to Ted for that. It's another thing she loves about him.

"I think it's implied," she says with a grin. "Even without that, though, I really doubt you were a himbo."

[theodorelasso]

"Yeah, you're right, I was probably too much of a jerk to qualify," he says, jokingly thoughtful, as if that's what stood between him and the himbo label.

[formersurgeon]

She laughs, able to recognize the more subtle aspects of Lasso humor that are sometimes lost on the uninitiated. "Pretty sure that's not it," she says. "Himbos would be oblivious. I can't see you ever being oblivious. At least not to that level."