trashchildren | For Joan

And with that, Ted wheels her off to the bathroom, and parks her right next to the stool. "He didn't tell me to enjoy my shower," he comments jokingly, pretending to be pouty about it, as he goes to turn the shower on to warm it up.

"I'm sure it was just an oversight," Joan says with a smile. She suspects it's actually because he expects Ted to be focusing on Watson and making her feel good, and she suspects he's right about that.

She watches him turn on the shower, then looks around the bathroom. There's soap and shampoo and conditioner and body wash and loofahs and everything. Sherlock really spared no expense to make sure the place was ready for them.

"Alright, let's get like Leslie Nielsen's gun," he says, pulling off his hoodie and setting it down, then holding out his hands offering to help Joan with her clothes.

"Naked?" she responds, amused. She grasps the lower hem of her shirt and starts pulling it upward, but discovers to her confusion and consternation that the combination of her weakness and lack of fine motor skills is making it hard to pull it up all the way.

"Bingo Ringo," he answers with a chuckle. He's glad she usually gets his references. She's a well-informed lady.

He reaches out and gently helps her off with her shirt without comment. He doesn't want to completely take over though, and figures it's probably good exercise if she tries to do it herself, and he'll just help her along when she gets stuck.

She appreciates that he's there to assist her, not do everything for her. She imagines she'll need less and less assistance as the days go by. At least she hopes so.

"Could you get my bra?" she asks. She knows she can't get it and figures this will just save time and struggle.

"Oh how we've grown, you wouldn't even let me try first time we got together," he quips cheerfully, stepping behind her to unhook it for her, and putting it in the pile with all their other clothes.

She can't help but smile at that.

"The first time we got together I wanted to be naked as soon as possible," she teases. "Unfortunately, right now I would take way longer to remove it than you would, so really it's a cost-benefits analysis."

She looks down at her chest and sees she was right...there are several patches of adhesive residue where the electrodes had been.

"So basically you're saying we haven't grown at all and we'd still like to be naked as soon as possible," he answers with a chuckle. "I'm okay with that."

He takes a moment to pull off his own t-shirt, and then his sweatpants - always a bit finagling required to get them over his cast.

"Oh, we've grown a lot," she says, with a sly smile. "And we still want to get naked as soon as possible."

Getting Joan's own comfortable pants off is going to be a task that she's not especially looking forward to.

"Hey, if it ain't baroque," he says, smiling. "Hold on, I gotta wrap up my leg," he adds, grabbing the bag and sitting down on the closed toilet to put it over his cast. "I know it's gonna be weeks until I can take this thing off, but boy, I don't think I'll miss it."

"Don't fix it?" She frowns in thought. "Mmm. That joke needs a better punchline." She nods at his comment about his cast. "I bet. I've never had a cast. I did fracture the fifth metacarpal bone of my right hand. Had to tape it up and wear a splint for a while."

Ted quirks his head at her specifying which exact bone she broke, which tells him absolutely nothing more than the 'right hand' bit did. But then she is a doctor. Was a doctor? Well, she still has a doctorate, he presumes.

"Well, that was the punchline. Spoken by Cogsworth in Beauty and the Beast," he explains. Who of course was very much Baroque.

"Alright, how about I help you onto our makeshift stool, and then we can work from there," he suggests. Slightly easier to get her pants off than while she's in the chair. He carefully pointed the showerhead away from the stepladder so it wouldn't get wet first.

"Oh, hold on," he adds, then goes to sit down on it, checking to make sure it's not too cold. "Alright, we're good, he says, getting to his feet again and going to help Joan.

She knows the name of the specific bone because of her medical training, but she might have wanted to instead mention the common name for that fracture: the boxer's fracture. Which, appropriately enough, she sustained while boxing.

"Sounds like a plan," she says. She smiles as he tests out the ladder to make sure it isn't too cold. When he returns she lifts her arms as much as she can to try to help him move her.

Ted plants his feet and puts Joan's arm over his shoulders, lifting her as gently as he can and moving her over to the stepladder to help her sit down. He's glad she's not completely powerless, and that even though she can't really support her own weight, she can still at least move her legs to make it easier.

"Alright," he says, pausing to consider the easiest way to do this. "I guess just sort of lean against me and we can scoot it down one side at a time." It's not elegant by any means, but it gets the job done without anyone falling and breaking anything on the bathroom floor.

Finally he removes his own underwear, then goes and takes the shower-head off the wall, feeling the water, then holding it out for her. "How's that?"

She's glad for his help, even if still frustrated she needs it. She wonders if she'll get used to needing help before she doesn't need it anymore.

When he holds out the showerhead, she half reached for it, then pulled back. "It might be better to keep it on the wall," she says.

"Oh, I just wanted you to test the water to make sure it's not too hot or cold," he explains. You know, before just turning it on her, since she can't very well get out of the water herself.

He also fully intends to help with most of the washing. They've helped each other wash in the shower before, so it's not like that part will be new. He'll just get to pamper her a little bit extra.

"Oh right." She holds her hand in the spray and nods. "It's perfect."

They have washed each other before, so it's a little different from being carried around and dressed and fed. She actually looks forward to it.

He leans down and pecks her on the cheek, then straightens up and puts the shower head back on the wall, turning it towards them, making sure to avoid it going too much in her face.

He grabs the loofah and wets it and puts soap on, before handing it to Joan. That at least is something that doesn't require too much strength or dexterity, until she needs to do her back or feet or something, and Ted can handle that.

"Want me to wash your hair?" he offers.

Joan smiles at that kiss, then leans back against him with a sigh, enjoying the feel of the warm water on her bare skin. She takes the loofah and begins to scrub gently at the gunk on her chest.

"Yes, please," she says to the offer. It would be hard to do that on her own.

Ted grabs the shampoo and squirts some into his hand, makes sure her hair is wet enough, then starts gently massaging it into her hair, making sure it doesn't run down into her eyes. He's done this for Michelle a few times, and Henry a lot of times, though of course he didn't have quite so much hair.

"I know it's frustrating not to be able to do it yourself," he says softly. "But I do really enjoy the chance to get to pamper you a bit."

She closes her eyes and sighs in pleasure as he gently massages her scalp.

"That feels good," she murmurs. She smiles. "I'll allow it," she teases. It helps that she can see him doing this for her even if she wasn't too weak to do it herself.

Of course he would. He likes to make her feel good. That doesn't have to be sexual. Of course, whenever they shower together, it has a tendency of being before or after sex. (They have yet to have sex in the shower, but he wouldn't say no.)

"Don't quite notice just how much hair you've got until you start doing this though, huh?" he says with amusement, making sure he actually gets to suds up all of her hair.

Sex in the shower is definitely something Joan would love to explore when she's well again, but for the moment this gentle, non-sexual intimacy is perfect.

"I've thought about cutting it at times," she muses with a smile. "But I think it looks good in a ponytail."

"It does," he agrees, grabbing the shower-head to rinse out her hair properly. "Better than Beard with a ponytail, that's for sure," he adds with a chuckle.

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