For Joan

[theodorelasso]

Continued from here.

(warnings: sexytimes. also, panic attacks, brutal violence, attempted murder, discussion of suicide and actual murder... )

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[theodorelasso]

Ted frowns softly, considering how best to answer that beyond 'sad'.

"Well, you know, it's bad enough we have to deal with all this, I don't think she should have to," he answers. In short, he wants to protect her from it.

Especially because, well, now that they're divorced, they no longer actually have that commitment to each other. It's for Henry's sake that they keep in touch as much as they do.

[formersurgeon]

"Is she not your friend?"

To say Sherlock is not a fan of marriage would be a massive understatement. He believes it to be an unnatural arrangement that more often than not traps people in stagnation and unhappiness. He knows how Ted's marriage ended, and thinks it was better than most marriages end, and good riddance. But he fears Ted has forgotten the simple, basic truth that likely led to his marriage in the first place: that he and Michelle care for one another, and the lack of the bonds (or shackles) of matrimony doesn't change that.

[theodorelasso]

Ted blinks at that question, unsure what he even means by it.

"I mean... Yes?" he answers, though he sounds almost unsure. By Ted's standards, of course she is, but Ted counts a lot of people as friends. Doesn't mean he thinks he should burden them all with his struggles.

[formersurgeon]

"If she were to endure a similar hardship, would you not wish for her to tell you?"

Sherlock is aware of Ted's tendency to give help and support to others without seeking or accepting it for himself. He is rather like Watson in that sense, and it's not a good thing.

[theodorelasso]

"Of course," he answers immediately. Then he pauses, before offering a counterpoint. "But it would also upset me if I knew I couldn't help."

Ted has plenty of friends willing to help, and much better placed to do so. He's stuck with the feeling that telling Michelle does no one any good besides provide more worry.

But it is something he's going to be dealing with the fallout from for the forseeable future, and she needs to know about that. If nothing else, so she can protect Henry from it.

He still loves her, but he no longer feels the need to share everything with her. Which is probably healthy and for the best, all things considered.

[formersurgeon]

"Would she expect you to help?" he counters. "Would not your care and concern be sufficient?"

It was a lesson Sherlock himself had to learn, that human connection and compassion needn't come with solutions. That often the care itself is the point.

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles softly and gives a nod. "Alright, I see your point."

He sighs, sitting down in the small couch. "... I guess I just still miss having her around sometimes," he admits. Ted's a very physical being, and the care and concern is a lot easier to accept when it comes in the form of a hug.

Or, as Sherlock is exhibiting, just some solid advice.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods and looks back at his sleeping partner. He can understand the value of having someone around. He used to be a solitary person, interacting with people as little as possible. And then Watson came into his life.

"What are your intentions with Watson?" he asks bluntly.

[theodorelasso]

Ted blinks at the question. "Dang, Shamus, ya ain't got time for the small questions, do ya?" he answers, amused and somewhat taken aback. "Are you asking whether I'll make an honest woman out of her, or what?"

[formersurgeon]

Shamus. Sherlock is familiar with the term, but is taken aback by it's use as a nickname. He's gotten somewhat used to a certain degree of familiarity with Ted...hence calling him Ted...but a cutesy nickname ruffles him the wrong way. He's also familiar with the "honest woman" euphemism for marriage, and it ruffles him the wrong way for other reasons.

"The suggestion" he begins, his tone tight and sharp while still quiet, "that a man's decision whether or not to wed a woman he is sleeping with has any bearing upon her moral character is sexist, to say the least."

[theodorelasso]

Ted falters a little, his smile disappearing. "I mean... Yes, of course, I was just using it as expression," he answers softly. Of course he doesn't actually mean it like that, and he would hope anyone who knows him would know that. (He sure hopes Sherlock knows that, and is just reacting to the saying.)

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock gives a small, tight nod. He knows Ted doesn't actually mean anything sexist by the expression, but words matter.

"It is my opinion," he says, "that marriage is an unnatural arrangement that more often than not results in a quagmire of misery that the parties can only extricate themselves from with a great amount of mental, emotional, and social anguish." He looks toward Watson. "But that is not her opinion of it, and it is, of course, her opinion that counts."

[theodorelasso]

Ted raises his eyebrows. Wow, what a romantic. But of course Sherlock acknowledges that he's not the one in a relationship with Ted here, so his opinion doesn't matter. Ted wonders if Sherlock is... feeling threatened by Ted's relationship with Joan.

"So... you are asking if I want to marry her?" he clarifies.

[formersurgeon]

Oh maybe just a little threatened. He's used to having Watson to himself. She's exceptionally important to him.

"If that is what you intend," he replies, looking back at Ted.

[theodorelasso]

"I... don't know that I intend to do much of anything before talking about it with her first," he answers honestly. Intention, to him, implies a plan or a goal. And he wouldn't say he plans on marriage.

"And I don't think I should be getting engaged less than a year after I got divorced," he adds. And that's not a 'propriety' thing, that's just making sure he's emotionally ready for it.

"But if you're asking me if that's something I can see myself doing, then yeah, heck yeah," he continues, a bit more firmly. "I love her. And for as long as she loves me, I'd like to spend my life with her. Get married, sure, if she wants to. Raise kids, heck yeah." He knows, at least, that Joan does want children, so that part he can say fairly confidently.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock nods again, more slowly this time, and looks back at Watson.

"You intend to stay with her for as long as she loves you," he says, his voice softer, almost wistful. There's the slightest hint of sadness in his tone. He knows Watson loves this man deeply. He finds himself wondering how he's going to fit into her life, when up until recently their partnership was her life.

[theodorelasso]

Ted nods affirmatively. They haven't been dating for that long, in the grand scope of things, and maybe Ted would be a bit more careful about making statements like that. But Joan's literally in this hospital bed right now just because she wanted to protect him. He doesn't think there's any point in being cautious when judging how invested they are in each other. Cause it's clearly a lot.

He watches Sherlock quietly for a few moments. It's clear he loves Joan deeply. He feels almost privileged to get to see that. Sherlock's obviously not a person who's very open with his emotions.

"And... I know you two are a package deal," he continues softly. "And I don't plan on messing with that, nor would I want to. In fact I think it's great you two have each other."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock looks back at Ted, and there's sadness plain on his face. There are very few people Sherlock would willingly allow to see him this vulnerable, so it is in fact a show of great trust.

"Not many would see it that way," he says. "I am grateful that you do."

[theodorelasso]

Ted smiles softly. He's never been a particularly jealous or possessive man. He just wants everyone involved to be happy. Sherlock and Joan make each other happy. Why would he want to take that away? He's not so insecure to think he's the only one who should be able to make her happy. And Sherlock can help her fulfill both intellectual and occupational needs that Ted can't.

Besides. Sherlock's a good man in his own right. A bit confusing for Ted to relate to at times, but good. He's grateful to know him.

"Besides," he continues after a moment, mildly playful to lighten the tension a little bit. "We agree that you would make a great eccentric uncle."

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock scoffs, turning back to Watson, but it's more amused than anything. He hadn't thought he was good with children, but he was now godfather to his protege Kitty's son Archie, and he's had to re-evaluate his position.

"Well," he says, changing the subject. "If we are to remain for the night, we should decide upon sleeping arrangements."

[theodorelasso]

"Right," Ted agrees, smile widening for a moment at the scoff and the subject change.

He looks around, at the few available chairs, the one (somewhat cramped) couch, and the hospital bed. He'd gladly sleep next to Joan, but he doesn't want to risk while she's still so sick.

"Thoughts?" he asks, after a moment, unsure himself.

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock suspects Joan would appreciate having Ted sleep beside her, but would also think it too risky for right now.

"You should be closest to her, in case she needs you." Her needing him is a broad category, from her needing a glass of water to her suffering a sudden and catastrophic incident.

[theodorelasso]

Ted gestures at the couch he's sitting on questioningly. He's definitely not going to be able to sleep well in those chairs, at least. Not in his current state. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

[formersurgeon]

Sherlock surveys their options sourly.

"Perhaps we can request a bed, or at least a reclining chair."

[theodorelasso]

"Call Beard, he'd probably show up with a cot, or one of those inflatable ones," he quips. He's only half joking. Beard definitely would, if they asked. Though asking the hospital staff is probably easier. (And less likely to piss off the staff if there's suddenly a bed in here.)